


Dragon Effect

by soldiermom1973



Series: Dragon Effect [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins, Mass Effect, Mass Effect 2 - Fandom, Mass Effect 3 - Fandom
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Fluff and Smut, Gen, NSFW, Possible Suicide Trigger
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-02 07:03:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 35,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5238938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldiermom1973/pseuds/soldiermom1973
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Please make sure to read the tags & archive warnings for each chapter.  I will be changing them as new chapters go up.</p><p>The Reapers have been defeated and the Council gifted an unclaimed region of the galaxy to the Alliance.  Tasked with mapping this new area, Shepard and crew are looking forward to an easy mission after the hell that had been the Reaper War.  Too bad the easy missions don't tend to stay that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter one of my crossover. I have had this idea in my head for MONTHS. I've poured over fan theories and have tried to tie the two universes together seamlessly. Some stuff will be AU, timelines will have to be tinkered with, but I am trying my best to stay as true to canon for both franchises as I possibly can.

When the alarm went off, it startled her out of a sound, and thankfully dreamless, sleep. Commander Shepard reached out with a shaky hand and silenced the annoying chirp, muttering under her breath about the crazy person who decided it would be a good idea to get a workout in BEFORE the day's briefing. “Oh, yeah, that'd be me,” she sighed quietly, not wanting to wake the man sleeping next to her.

As if on cue, Kaidan's arm tightened around her waist. He mumbled something incoherent as she gently lifted his arm and scooted to the edge of the bed. She looked back at him and gently ran a finger over his cheek, debating about whether or not to wake him. He had offered to help her workout and stretch, but he got a rather severe migraine the night before. Shepard just didn't have the heart to wake him, so she quietly got herself dressed and made her way to the shuttle bay.

It was just a little over a year ago that the Reapers had been defeated. Shepard had been grievously wounded when the Citadel exploded as the Crucible fired it's energy beam, ending the Reaper cycles once and for all. Lots of broken bones, a couple dislocated joints, internal bleeding, severe burns over 70% of her body – everything that goes along with surviving an explosion and then having tons of debris fall on you. Countless surgeries later, she was put in a medically-induced coma, giving her body (and the implants Cerberus had so generously given her) time to heal. And thanks to those implants, what should have taken months to recover only took weeks. Then came the really fun part – making her body re-learn everything it had known how to do prior to the explosion. Even mundane things like holding a fork were difficult. She was in a wheelchair for a couple of weeks (and it would have been longer if the doctors had had their way), crutches for a few weeks after, and in the interim was grueling physical therapy.

Kaidan had been by her side the entire time, encouraging her to push just a little more when she got tired, rubbing her aching muscles at the end of each therapy session, letting her know that it was ok to take some pain meds on the days when she could barely move, and assuring her that no one would think any less of her if she was seen using her crutches in public. When her nightmares sat her upright in bed, shaking and crying, he wrapped his arms around her and whispered soothingly to calm her down. And when she would stare at her reflection, her fingers tracing over her myriad new scars, still pink with healing, Kaidan would wrap his arms around her waist and murmur in her ear how beautiful he thought she was. He was as integral to her recovery as any physical or medical part had been. There were many times when Shepard wondered just how much harder things would have been without him.

While she was recuperating, the Alliance spent a hefty sum finishing the Normandy's retrofits. Even with all of the other rebuilding that was going on, Admiral Hackett wanted Shepard's ship fixed immediately. He knew it would be a tremendous morale boost, especially once the commander was fit for duty and put back in charge again. One of the things they put in the shuttle bay was a small gym (much to Vega's delight; Shepard swears he squealed like a little girl when he saw it, something he denies vehemently). The shuttle bay was dark and empty – something Shepard was thankful for. Prior to the explosion, she didn't mind at all when people watched her work out. Her form was spot on and she looked good. Now, though, she hit muscle fatigue a lot sooner and she couldn't quite lift as much as she used to. Sit-ups were a problem because of her back but she did them anyway. She was self-conscious of her scars; there were a lot more of them now and some of them were a lot harder to hide. She'd talked to Dr. Chakwas about surgery to remove them but the good doctor wanted to wait a bit longer, just to make sure that everything was still healing the way it was supposed to.

Because the ship was still on its night cycle, Shepard wasn't surprised when she didn't see a soul when she stepped off of the elevator in the shuttle bay. What did surprise her was that even Vega was absent - that man cared about his physique almost as much as he cared about his job. She shrugged to herself, figuring the future N7 consumed a little too much tequila the night before. Shepard strolled to the corner with the workout gear and settled into her exercises – some stretches to warm up, push-ups, sit-ups, light calisthenics to start. About halfway through her routine, though, she was wishing she had woken Kaidan up or paged Vega or something. She wasn't used to working alone and liked having someone there to encourage her push out just a few more reps or to help her when the weights seemed like too much. She stretched well enough on her own, but, again, with Kaidan's help, she could stretch just a bit further. Shepard sighed and quickly finished her exercises, promising herself she'd wake her boyfriend the next time.

As she made her way back to the elevator, the ship seemed to be coming back to life – the lights gradually got brighter, and Shepard could hear people stirring when she got off of the elevator to grab something to drink from the mess hall. She was greeted with various “Good morning, Commander”s and perky smiles. She smiled and nodded in return as she grabbed herself a bottle of water and fixed Kaidan a cup of strong coffee.

She wasn't surprised to see her lover sitting up in bed, looking over a data pad. “There you are,” he smiled at her as he accepted the steaming mug. He closed his eyes and inhaled before taking a tentative sip. He then turned an accusing glare towards her. “You didn't wake me.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow. “You're welcome for the coffee,” she retorted, “and you were out like a light. After that headache last night, I knew you needed the sleep.”

“But you need my help with your exercises,” he protested as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

“I did fine,” Shepard reassured him. “And you needed the sleep more than I needed the help.” She took a large swallow from her water bottle and nodded toward the datapad. “Working already?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Kaidan nodded. “Just looking over the maps the Alliance sent.”

The Council had granted the Alliance rights to part of the galaxy that had, for some unknown reason, not yet been explored by anyone. Admiral Hackett tasked the Normandy and her crew with mapping and scouting this new area. Shepard gratefully accepted the mission, thankful to be doing something that didn't involve killing Reapers or watching her friends die. 

“Do they have any information at all about the area?” Shepard sat next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder, looking over the information.

Kaidan just shook his head. “Hackett said to not be surprised if there are pirates and raiders already set up here.” He took another swallow of his coffee and laid the data pad on the night stand. He rested his head on top of hers and wrapped his arm around her back, lightly massaging her shoulder. “How was your workout?”

“I should have woken Vega,” she admitted, straightening up when Kaidan began to protest. “You,” she poked his chest, “needed your sleep. My workout was alright by myself, but I do prefer when I have someone there pushing me a little more.”

Kaidan made an irritated-sounding grunt as Shepard stood. “Yes, darling, I know,” she leaned over and kissed his forehead. “Lesson learned. At least until next time when my stubborn ass doesn't want to wake someone anyway.”

Shepard grabbed a couple of towels from her locker and made her way to the bathroom. “I've got to get cleaned up. We meet with the crew in about an hour,” she reminded him

“Do you need someone to wash your back for you?” Kaidan called after her, a mischievous grin on his face.

“That depends, Major. Can you have my back washed so we're both ready and to the meeting on time?” she teased back as she turned the water on.

“Oh, challenge accepted,” he smirked, bolting after her.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The water was just this side of scalding but Shepard wasn't sure that all of the steam in the shower could be attributed to just the hot water. Kaidan stood behind her, his bare skin pressed against hers, one hand gently massaging a breast while the other one teasingly skirted her folds. He gently ran his tongue over her neck, paying extra attention to the area where her jaw ended. Shepard leaned her head back and wrapped her arms around his head, tangling her fingers in his hair. She pressed her bottom against his throbbing shaft, mewling as his fingertips fluttered against her hooded pearl.

“Kaidan, please,” she begged, grinding her hips against his fingers. “Stop teasing.”

“Maybe this isn't teasing so much as it's punishment for you not having a work out partner,” he said, his voice husky with need. His finger flicked over her hood then gently passed over her entrance. Shepard moaned and shifted her hips, trying to get some kind of satisfaction from his hand. Kaidan chuckled as he moved his fingers away.

“Do you want something?” he whispered, his lips brushing against her neck.

He knew just where and how to touch her to drive her into a near frenzy. His fingers returned, grazing over her pearl, sliding between her labia, circling her entrance. Shepard squirmed under his touch, panting as she said, “Kaidan, please.”

She moved her own hand south, desperate for release but Kaidan grabbed her wrist, chuckling as he nibbled her earlobe. He slid his hand up her belly and began kneading a breast, flicking his thumb over her nipple. Shepard inhaled sharply and bit her bottom lip as he pinched the bud and ran his tongue over her jawline. His hand slid back down and he cupped her mound, his fingertip barely exploring her warm center.

“Will you wake me next time?” he asked.

Shepard tried to push against his finger, yearning for him to fill her but he pulled his hand back. “Answer me,” he demanded.

“Yes,” she breathed. The heat pooling in her stomach was intense. It was times like this that Shepard wanted to both curse and praise her lover for knowing her body so well. His touch had her weak in the knees – if it wasn't for his arm wrapped around her waist, holding her wrist, she may well have dropped to the floor by now. “Please, Kaidan, stop teasing me.”

“Promise me,” he said, pushing his finger inside her just a bit more. He added a second digit, slowly thrusting them halfway and stopping. “Promise you'll wake me next time.”

“I promise, Kaidan, please.” Shepard probably would have said anything he wanted to hear, just to get him to stop teasing her. She whimpered when he pulled his fingers out and replaced them with the head of his cock.

“And that's a promise I won't forget,” he growled as he slid his length fully into her, smiling as she whimpered and ground her hips against him. Shepard moved her hand to the shower wall, bending over slightly and allowing Kaidan to plunge just a bit deeper inside of her. His hands gripped her hips tightly as he increased his pace.

Kaidan rested one of his hands on Shepard's belly, gently pulling her back so she was leaning against him again. His hand slid down to the top of her mound, his fingers finding her sensitive nub. “Come for me, Shepard,” he whispered, his fingertips swirling and flicking gently. “Say my name.”

“Kaidan,” she panted as his thrusts got harder, “please don't stop.”

Kaidan was only happy to oblige. His teeth nipped at her earlobe, his fingers teasing and swirling around her clit, his thrusts increasing in pace and depth. “Say my name,” he groaned. Kaidan could feel his stomach begin to tighten, a familiar warmth pooling deep in his stomach, He was close, so close.

Just then, Shepard clenched around him. His name danced across her lips as her hips bucked against his. Kaidan tightened his grip on her hip, thrusting hard one last time. “Shepard,” he panted as his member pulsed, spilling his seed deep inside her. He rested his forehead on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“I love you,” he murmured, trailing kisses along her shoulders.

Shepard turned and faced him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I love you, too,” she said. She closed her eyes and let out a contented sigh as he rested his forehead against hers.

\- - - - - - - - - - - -

Shepard just finished brushing her teeth when Kaidan came up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “Minty fresh?” he asked, grinning.

“You know it,” she said, smiling back at him.

He rubbed his hand over her bare stomach. “So, tell me again why it is you don't wear a shirt when you brush your teeth?”

“So I don't get toothpaste on my shirt,” she chuckled. “It's happened more than once. This is just easier than having to change.”

“Ah, so it isn't just to try and tease me then,” he murmured, planting a kiss on her neck, moving his hands to her shoulders. Shepard watched in the mirror as his lips followed his hands, kissing along her shoulders. He glanced at her reflection as his fingers traced along the chain of her dog tags, lingering over the ring she wore on the chain with them. He traced around the simple, silver band adorned with a lone gemstone and whispered, “I love you.”

Shepard covered his hand with her own and smiled. “I love you, too,” she said. She frowned when she noticed his expression harden just a bit.

“But not enough to wear this yet?” he murmured, still fingering the ring.

Shepard rolled her eyes and sighed. “Kaidan,” she said, turning and reaching for her shirt.

“What?” he demanded, taking a step back and running his fingers through his hair. “Haven't you had enough time to 'think about it'? You've worn that ring around your neck for the last couple of months. How much more time do you need?”

They'd discussed marriage several times. Shepard wasn't against the idea of it – she'd attended more than her share of them – but it just wasn't something she wanted to do. Still, Kaidan had proposed, hoping that the things they'd been through together might be enough to make her change her mind. She was thankful he hadn't proposed in some public manner – she hated the thought of publicly embarrassing him by not saying, “Yes”.

“Kaidan, this isn't about how much I love you.” Shepard finished pulling her shirt over her head and turned to face him. “I don't understand why we simply can't stay the way we are. Why do we need a piece of paper to tell everyone that we love each other?”

Shepard closed the distance between them and gently placed her hand on his cheek. Instead of turning into her touch as he normally would, he clenched his jaw and turned away from her. “Because I want more than to just be your boyfriend, Shepard,” he said angrily as he left the bathroom and began pacing the room, grabbing up datapads. “You knew when we got together I wanted to get married some day.”

“And you knew I didn't,” she retorted. She sat on the bed and started putting her boots on. “What, did you think there was some magical switch that would flip at some point and make me change my mind?”

Kaidan shook his head and walked to the door. “Well, yeah, actually, I kinda hoped that with everything we'd been through...”

“Look, getting married won't change anything,” she said, holding up a hand to silence him. “We're already living together. We're listed as next of kin for each other for emergency purposes. We've got joint accounts. What on earth is getting married going to give us that we don't already have?”

“I'm tired of being just a boyfriend, Shep,” he exclaimed. “Maybe you think it's stupid, but I want to tell people you're my wife, not just my girlfriend.”

“They're just words, Kaidan.” Shepard finished lacing her boots and stood. “My being your girlfriend or wife or whatever doesn't change how I feel about you.”

Kaidan closed his eyes, shook his head, and started walking to the door. “I just wish you could explain what this aversion is you have to marrying me.”

“It isn't you, Kaidan,” Shepard said firmly. “I don't want to get married, period.”

Kaidan glanced at Shepard over his shoulder. She could see his jaw clench and relax – something he did when he was trying to keep his temper in check. They stared at each other for a few moments before Kaidan turned and left. Shepard sighed heavily as she gathered up the datapads she would need for the meeting. For how well the day had started, it certainly turned to shit in a hurry. She only hoped it wouldn't get any worse.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Alliance had two objectives – one was a test run, to make sure all of the upgrades and retrofits were functioning the way they were supposed to; the other was to map the part of the galaxy the Council had bestowed upon them. The Normandy wasn't running with a full complement but Shepard refused to head out with only a skeleton crew. She'd specifically requested the people who'd served with her during the Reaper war – James Vega, newly promoted to Staff Lieutenant and well on his way through ICT, striving for that N7 designation; Samantha Traynor refused several promotions because they would have transferred her away from the Normandy; Steve Cortez also refused a promotion for the same reason; Dr. Karin Chakwas's long career in the Alliance was distinguished enough to allow her her choice in postings, she chose the Normandy and stated that would be where she would serve until she saw fit to retire; Jeff “Joker” Moreau happily accepted his promotion to Staff Lieutenant but only under the condition that he continue to be allowed to pilot the SR2.

Her familiarity with her crew helped the pre-mission briefs pass quickly. Shepard always knew her missions inside and out; well enough for her contingency plans to have contingency plans. Being as familiar as possible with what was expected of her and her crew meant she didn't have to rely on datapads or EDI for any information. She could look each of her team members in the eye as she spoke, silently conveying her confidence in their abilities, both as a team and individually, to get the job done.

As she explained to everyone what the Alliance's goals were, her steady gaze was met with understanding nods punctuated by occasional questions. The only one not appearing to participate was Kaidan – he looked at everyone and everything except Shepard. His arms were crossed over his chest, his lips turned down in a slight frown, and he kept clenching his jaw. Shepard had tried a couple of times to draw him out, hoping he might explain a little more what he would be doing with his part of the operation, but her attempts were met with terse words that barely provided anyone with any additional details.

When EDI notified them that they were approaching the first planet to be checked out, Shepard told James and Kaidan to meet her in the shuttle bay and dismissed the rest of the group. Normally, Kaidan would have stuck around, maybe ask a question or 2 and go over things just one more time or maybe just steal a kiss and a few moments together. Instead, she watched as he hurried out of the room, brushing past her as though he couldn't stand being around her. She wasn't sure how she felt – part of her was pissed at the way he was behaving and part of her was hurt that he was treating her like this. It wasn't like her aversion to getting married was something new – they'd actually talked about it before they even became a couple.

Shepard sighed and gathered up her datapads, planning on stowing them in her locker in the shuttle bay while they were planetside. She would have preferred securing them in her quarters but she didn't want to take the time. Right now, all she wanted to do was get this planet checked out, get back to the ship, and try to talk to Kaidan, see if they couldn't find some middle ground they'd both be happy with.

Kaidan and James were already in their armor and double checking their weapons by the time she got there. She continued trying to get Kaidan to talk to her about something – anything – as she pulled her armor out of her locker. She tried talking about dinner plans, new weapon mods, the new biotic amp Serrice Council had just developed and all she could get out of him were shrugs, grunts, and the occasional, “Whatever.”

When she turned from grabbing her weapon from her locker and saw that Kaidan had already boarded the shuttle without so much as a smile, she admitted to herself that she would just have to let him have some space and come to her when he was ready to talk again. Normally when they argued, he would at least talk to her, putting up a front to the rest of the crew that everything was ok. It bothered her that he wasn't even trying to do that now.

“Everything ok, Lola?” Shepard had been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn't even heard James come up behind her.

“It will be,” she said, smiling just a bit. “Kaidan and I just had a disagreement before the briefing, that's all.”

“A disagreement?” James cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at her. “Commander, he's barely speaking to you. I mean, I don't wanna pry, but you two always seem pretty solid. It's got to be more than just a disagreement.”

Shepard pursed her lips and debated telling the young man what had happened. She and Kaidan both hated other people knowing about their personal lives. If she ever needed to vent, she would either go to Kaidan or find somewhere deserted and pace back and forth, talking to herself as she worked through whatever was on her mind. Her friends all knew that if they saw her marching around, hands gesturing animatedly as she talked to herself, it was best to just leave her alone to work out whatever was bothering her. There were times, though, when she needed to talk to someone else, to get a fresh set of eyes on whatever situation was getting her blood pressure up. And maybe this was one of those times – James might be able to give her some insight that maybe Kaidan couldn't, or wouldn't, share. The other reason she hesitated, though, was that not many people knew that Kaidan had proposed and that she'd said no.

Her desire to try and work things out with Kaidan was stronger than her need to keep her private life private. That and this was James she was talking to – she knew she could trust him. Taking a deep breath, she gave him the short version; she didn't want to get married, Kaidan knew this and proposed anyway and now he's upset because she still hasn't said, 'yes'.

“Wow, that's a tough spot, Lola,” he said quietly. “This isn't something that came up overnight, I take it?”

“He knew about it even before we started dating,” she said, shaking her head. “I just don't know what to do. I'm not about to tell him yes because that would mean we'd have a marriage based on a lie. And I won't lie to him. Not even about something like this.”

After thinking for a few moments, James said, “Have you thought about...”

“Hey, let's go!” Kaidan yelled, poking his head out of the shuttle. “We're going to fall behind schedule if you two don't get moving!”

Shepard gaped at him, shocked that he'd spoken to them – to her – like that. Yes, technically he outranked her but this was her ship and he was there by her choice. She watched as Kaidan closed his eyes and hung his head, his face turning bright red. At least he had the decency to look ashamed.

After Kaidan retreated back inside the shuttle, she heard James chuckle just a little. Shepard shot him a soft glare over her shoulder. “I'm sorry, Lola,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “I've just never heard him talk to anyone like that, much less you.”

“I know,” she said as the pair started toward the shuttle. The fact that he allowed himself to slip into that tone told her just how much this was bothering him. “I just wish he would put it to the back of his mind, at least until we got this done and could talk more privately.” She paused at the shuttle door and said, “What were you going to say back there?”

James just shrugged and said, “It'll keep until we get back.”

Shepard only nodded as she climbed aboard the shuttle. She wasn't surprised to see Kaidan sitting in the co-pilot seat. Anything to avoid talking to or looking at me, it seems, she thought to herself. The thought did nothing to soothe the hurt in her heart. She hated when they fought and the last time he'd been this upset – this angry – with her was on Horizon. As she strapped in, she couldn't keep her mind from wandering back to that particular part of their relationship.

A Cerberus op to a human colony to try and stop the Collectors. A colony that Kaidan had just happened to be stationed at. Shepard closed her eyes as she remembered the pain, anger, and hatred that had flashed across his face when he saw that she was not only alive, but working with the largest terrorist organization in the galaxy. Regardless of her reasons for being with them, it planted a seed of doubt so deep in his heart that even her defeat of the Collectors and turning herself in for the Alpha Relay incident wasn't enough to assure him of her loyalty to both him and the Alliance. It took the two of them staring down the barrel of each others' guns during Udina's failed coup attempt for it to sink into that thick, Canadian skull that she still loved him, that she would never betray him or the Alliance.

The sound of Cortez announcing their arrival to the planet's surface forced Shepard back to the present. She unhooked her safety harness, stood, and glanced at the cockpit. Kaidan had been watching her; as soon as they made eye contact, the look on his face changed. Shepard was surprised to see that Kaidan no longer looked angry. Instead, what she saw on his face looked more like hurt and defeat. It was enough to make her question whether or not getting married would be such a terrible thing after all. She gave him a small smile, one that quickly faded when he shook his head and turned away.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

The ground mission went as well as Shepard had hoped it would. She, Kaidan, and James located a probe that had been transmitting data for EDI and Traynor to analyze. Satisfied that they'd gotten enough information, they retrieved the probe and headed back to the ship. During that time, the tension between Shepard and Kaidan continued to grow. She decided against trying to draw him out, wanting to give him some space. So she only spoke to him when she had to and even then, he continued to give short, terse answers. Shepard was quickly getting to the point where every time he said something it was like a knife in her gut. She hated that he was behaving like this but until they got somewhere they could talk, there was little she could do.

Shepard had been hoping things would wait until they got to their quarters but Kaidan had other ideas. They had no sooner climbed out of the shuttle when Kaidan told her they needed to talk.

“Ok,” she slowly said starting toward her locker, “just let me get my armor off and we can meet in our room, ok?”

“No,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest, “this can't wait. We need to talk now.”

She glanced at James and Steve, who looked at each other and split up – James wandered to his locker and Steve ducked back inside the shuttle. Still, Kaidan pointed his head toward the far end of the shuttle bay. Whatever he had to say he didn't want anyone in earshot. Shepard shouldn't have been surprised. He'd probably overheard her talking to James about their situation and wanted to let her know it was none of James's business. While they'd argued in the past, they rarely did so in front of others. And if an argument had started in private, it wasn't brought up around others. Kaidan hated having their problems out in the open. Neither of them said a word as they walked away from the shuttle.

Shepard finally turned and faced Kaidan, not trying to hide the look of confusion on her face. “Alright, what is it?” she asked, bracing herself for a verbal lashing about keeping other people out of their business. What he said instead rocked her to her core.

Kaidan pursed his lips and seemed to struggle with what he had to say. When the words finally came out, Shepard was dumbfounded. “I've been thinking about this, Shep. And I think that if you don't want to marry me, then you need to let me go so I can find someone who does.”

It took a few seconds for what he said to register. “You... wait, what? You want to end things because I don't want to get married?”

Suddenly the floor felt like it was no longer under her feet. It took every ounce of willpower she had to keep from dropping to her knees. The immense pain that suddenly filled her chest didn't help any, either. A chill washed over her body, starting at her toes and running up her back, covering her arms and legs in goosebumps. She never in a million years would have guessed that he would end things just because of a silly piece of paper that told the world how much they loved each other.

“I don't want to end things, Shepard,” he said. She thought she heard a bit of sadness in his voice but it was hard to tell with the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. “You are the only person I can picture spending the rest of my life with. But you obviously don't feel the same...”

Shepard wasn't sure if she should be hurt or angry or both. And at that moment, it was a lot of both. He kept trying to make it sound as though she didn't love him enough to marry him. Or that she didn't feel the same way about him that he felt about her. “Kaidan,” she said, trying to keep her voice calm and steady, “I've told you. This isn't about some way to measure what I feel for you. I can't picture myself ever waking up without your arms around me.” She fought down the lump that was forming in her throat, threatening to make her voice crack. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, hoping that she wouldn't break down. “I've thought about us retiring, buying some small cottage in the BC interior, sitting on a porch swing, and watching the sunset together.”

Shepard took a couple of steps closer to him as she continued, “I've meant it every single time I've told you that you're the peanut butter to my marshmallow fluff. I don't ever want to spend a moment of my life without you.” She reached out and placed her hand against his face, tracing along his cheek with her thumb. He closed his eyes and turned into her touch, covering her hand with his own.

“I just don't want to get married.”

At that, his eyes snapped open and he quickly pulled away from her as though her touch was painful. His face contorted in a mixture of anger and heartbreak as he took a couple of steps back from her. “Then let me go,” he whispered.

Shepard felt as though she'd been punched in the gut. Another cold chill washed over her and she could feel more goosebumps raise on her arms and legs. Her breath hitched as she took a step forward, trying to say his name, to ask if they could try to find a compromise. Her effort was met with a hardened stare as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Shepard pulled her gloves off and shakily tucked them inside her utility belt. Her fingers fumbled for the clasp on her dog tags. It took her several tries but she finally managed to undo the link that held the ring he'd given her close to her heart. She fought the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks – she didn't want anyone to think she was trying to guilt him into changing his mind – and with trembling hands, she held the chain out to him.

The tags she wore with the ring had also been a gift from him. White gold, he'd had her Alliance information engraved on one side and on the other, it read, “To remind you of me. Love, K.” If he wanted the ring back, he would also be getting those tags back, as well.

A flicker of surprise briefly crossed Kaidan's face. It was quick, but Shepard caught it. She wondered for a moment if he'd been bluffing – that maybe he wasn't expecting her to agree to ending things. And all that realization did was break her heart a little more. She believed him to be above emotional manipulation but clearly she was wrong and it hurt even more that he would try something like that. Not to mention he knew how she felt about ultimatums – they had their uses but not when it came to matters of the heart. Not like this, anyway. She wanted to be angry, to be able to try and replace her pain and heartache with something more aggressive but she couldn't. They had been through so much together; she'd have been lying if she said that she wasn't looking forward to the two of them actually being able to have more time together that wasn't interrupted by the galaxy falling apart.

As Kaidan slowly walked toward her, she could see the doubt on his face. “Just remember,” she said, softly, “you are the one who wants this. Not me.”

“Shepard, I don't want this,” he said. “But I don't know....”

His words were cut off by a blinding green light that quickly filled the shuttle bay. He raised his arms to shield his vision, his eyes darting around, trying to find the source of the light. It seemed to come from everywhere within the shuttle bay. The light grew brighter and brighter until Kaidan finally had to close his eyes against the luminous attack. As the light's intensity grew, so did an odd hum. Kaidan couldn't hear it so much as he could feel it – in his chest and in the back of his head. It reminded him of the sirens on some of the police and fire vehicles back home – they had a certain frequency to them that you just didn't hear, but you could feel. 

Suddenly, the light and hum were gone and with it went the shuttle bay's gravity and power. Kaidan opened his eyes quickly, blinking to adjust to the darkness that now enveloped the area. He turned on the magnets in his boots as he reached out, feeling for one of the crates they'd been standing behind. When he felt it, he grabbed a hold and pulled himself closer to the decking, allowing the pull of his boots to land him securely on the floor of the shuttle bay. He brought his weapon around, turned on the flashlight, and quickly scanned the area.

Crates, datapads, weapons parts, and gym equipment were all floating around the area. Fortunately, the shuttle had been locked down after they landed or it, too, would have been floating. There would be one hell of a mess to clean up once the artificial gravity was restored. Kaidan carefully made his way back over to the shuttle. “What in the hell was that?” he asked.

“I don't know, sir,” James responded, slowly making his way over from his locker. He, too, had turned the magnets on in his boots. He pulled his weapon from his back and was using the attached flashlight to get a better view. “Where's the commander?”

Kaidan spun around, looking for Shepard. He and James aimed their flashlights around the debris hovering in the shuttle bay. “Cortez,” he called into the shuttle, “is Shepard in there with you?”

“No, sir,” the pilot called back. Kaidan peered into the shuttle and saw the young man had strapped himself into the pilot's seat.

He looked around the shuttle bay again and put a finger to his ear. “Joker, EDI, come in. What the hell just happened and where is Shepard?”

Vega shot him a concerned look when there was no response, not even static. “Joker, EDI, do you read?” Kaidan asked again. The silence on the other end concerned him almost as much as Shepard's attempt at hide-and-go-seek.

“Seems like that light took out more than just the gravity, sir,” James observed.

“It looks that way. I just hope it isn't worse than it seems,” Kaidan responded. He took one more look around the shuttle bay and loudly said, “Shepard, this isn't fucking funny. Knock it off and get back out here. That's an order.”

James whistled at Kaidan's demand but the major didn't care. Shepard was known for her practical jokes – they didn't happen often but when they did, they were talked about for months. Under other circumstances, he could picture Shepard hiding in a corner somewhere, laughing her ass off as everyone in the shuttle bay floated around. She would help clean up – she always did if her jokes got a bit messy – and continue to laugh at everyone's reaction. Kaidan wouldn't have put it past Shepard to have teamed up with EDI to pull something like this and he was in no mood for it. Not now, not with the conversation they'd been having.

“Major, what if something is really wrong. I mean, if the power's out, that means there's no life support. I can't believe Lola would mess with something like that,” James said. There was no mistaking the concern in his voice.

“She might, but only for a little. Just to freak people out,” Kaidan said, trying to convince himself that what he'd just said was true. He knew damn well that Shepard wouldn't risk the lives of her crew for a simple prank. Turning off the gravity was one thing but life support? James was right – she wouldn't play around with that. “But just because there's no power here doesn't mean that she messed with the life support. She may have only tinkered with the gravity and the lights and maybe only here in the shuttle bay.”

“We have to get to Joker,” Kaidan continued. “We need to find out if the power is out anywhere else on the ship or if it's just here on this deck.”

The magnets on his boots caused them to clunk heavily as he walked back to the shuttle and poked his head inside. The shuttle pilot was still strapped in and appeared to be trying to get at least the shuttle's systems back online. “Cortez,” Kaidan said, “Vega and I need to head to the bridge. Will you be ok in here?”

“Yes, sir, I'll be fine,” the pilot responded. “I'm just checking to see if there's anything I can do from here.”

“Well, be careful. I don't know if what's going on is happening just here or if it's all over the ship. I can't raise Joker, so we should assume that all comms are down.” Steve nodded and continued flipping switches and pressing buttons, trying to bring something, anything, on the shuttle back to life.

Kaidan slowly clunked his way back to James, who just nodded and said, “Lead the way, sir.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - -

Kaidan had never been in the ship's ducts before. He'd heard all about them – several times, in fact – during the crew's poker games when Joker would remind everyone how he saved the ship when the Collectors attacked (and usually EDI would chime in and and remind him that she helped). He silently cursed the fact that he had no access to the ship's schematics. Fortunately, the passages didn't allow for a lot of options when it came to direction of travel. Kaidan picked a direction and started moving, hoping that he wasn't actually going in the wrong direction.

The air in the ducts was stifling, something that didn't change as the pair carefully made their way through the narrow tubing. Kaidan had hoped that as they got closer to Deck 2, things would have improved. Instead, it became painfully obvious that the green-lit phenomenon wasn't limited to the shuttle bay. It seemed like power was out on the entire ship – he expected to start seeing at least the emergency lighting but the tunnels remained black as pitch. As soon as he came to that conclusion, Kaidan picked up the pace. He needed to get to the bridge, to make sure that Joker was ok. Fortunately, they'd be passing Traynor's work station, too, so it wouldn't be too difficult to check on her, as well. And between the pilot and the comms specialist, they should be able to get things back online.

The lack of airflow was making things uncomfortably warm. Kaidan could feel the sweat start to bead on his forehead and tickle as it ran down his chest and back. He felt like he'd just finished one of Shepard's more grueling workouts instead of just walking around in his armor. When he heard James's breaths become a little more labored, he knew he wasn't the only one feeling like that.

“Major, I just thought of something,” James said.

“You mean aside from the fact that this is worse than when Shepard runs PT?” Kaidan quipped. As soon as the words left his mouth, he closed his eyes, wishing he had made another joke. Any other joke that didn't center around his missing girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. Hell, he didn't even know what they were at this point.

The young man just chuckled. “Well, yeah, it is hotter in here than the asphalt in Arizona in the middle of July. But besides that, isn't EDI supposed to be protected from stuff?”

Kaidan's pace faltered just a bit. James was right – EDI's black box was shielded to protect her against EMPs, fire, extreme cold, the vacuum of space, most forms of radiation, just about anything that might cause her programming to fail. If nothing had happened to her, she should have had things up and running by now. The fact that they were literally still in the dark, and with no air or gravity to boot, put his concern into overdrive.

“We'd better get the lead out, then,” Kaidan said as he crawled as fast as the cramped space would allow. “We don't know for certain if EDI is down but if she is, we have a major problem on our hands.”

Kaidan's emotions swung from fury to concern to hurt. If Shepard had been behind this and it was just a practical joke, it was enough to send him over the edge and end things. Oh, wait, he did end things. Well, he didn't really want to; he was hoping it might shock Shepard into... something. He didn't know quite what. Regardless, if it was a joke, he didn't care if it was an attempt to lighten the mood or put a smile on his face. Considering the seriousness of the conversation they'd just had, a joke like this was in extremely poor taste. But what if it wasn't a joke? What if it was something from one of the planets in this system? The intel they had from the Alliance and EDI's own scans didn't indicate that there were any settlements around that had access to anything that might be capable of what had just happened. So where was Shepard? Was it possible that she'd been teleported somewhere? He knew of no one who currently had that kind of technology but that didn't mean it wasn't possible. There might be a race of beings out here on the fringes of the galaxy who used teleportation to get from place to place. But why take Shepard then? Why just her and not the rest of them? Of course, that was assuming there was no one else missing on the ship...

“Major, do you really think this was one of Lola's jokes?” James asked quietly.

Kaidan startled a bit, so wrapped in his thoughts he'd nearly forgotten James was with him. “I don't know. If it is, she's going to have a lot of pissed off people on her hands,” he replied.

As they climbed ladders and continued to worm their way through the ductwork, a hundred of things were running through Kaidan's head – if there was no power, that meant there was not only no gravity but also no air circulating and that would need fixed immediately; the ship was light on crew because of the nature of the mission so at least there wasn't a full complement to have to worry about; the ship was eerily quiet when every damn thing is off; nothing on the planet they were just on indicated any kind of technology like this; holy shit, were they still even in orbit? Or was the Normandy drifting? Where the fuck was Shepard? Was anyone else missing?

His thoughts were occasionally interrupted by James's grumbling about his larger-than-normal stature being crammed into the ship's smaller pathways. Kaidan didn't say anything – with their armor on, they were roughly the same size and while there wasn't much room to spare, they weren't quite packed in the duct work like a couple of sardines. 

As they made their way through the ship's innards, Kaidan would occasionally try his comms, trying to raise EDI or Joker and each time he was met with absolute silence – no static, no background noise, not even heavy breathing (which Joker had been known to do from time to time). Finally, about the time they were climbing through Deck 3, Kaidan heard something.

“..jor... read...mmit,” Kaidan heard Joker's voice on his comms, surrounded by horrible static and breaking up but there nonetheless.

“Joker? Do you copy?” Kaidan asked as he and James continued their way through the ducts.

“Barely.... ..king up..... EDI... ..king on... bridge...”

“Well, that was helpful,” James muttered.

“It was more than we had before,” Kaidan said, picking up his pace. “That means Joker is ok. Let's go, lieutenant. We're close.”

The two men hurried as best they could through the cramped tubing. It was still dark and the atmosphere was still stifling. Which could only mean that there was definitely something wrong with EDI. Kaidan tried focusing on the positive – he was ok, Vega was ok, so was Cortez and apparently Joker. It seemed likely, then, that everyone else on the ship was alright, too. Kaidan's sense of relief was added to when he saw the lettering at the base of a ladder that indicated they were at Deck 2.

“Well, here goes nothing,” he muttered as he quickly ascended the ladder. He cautiously peeked he head out of the hole in the floor, checking for any trouble. A cursory glance around the conference room didn't show anything amiss, aside from datapads and other small, various items taking advantage of the no-gravity situation. He finished climbing out of the chute with James following closely behind.

“You know, sir, we are going to have a huge mess to clean up when the gravity turns back on,” James said as he poked as some balls of floating coffee.

“What's this 'we', lieutenant?” Kaidan smirked as he shifted the flashlight beam and glanced around. The door to the war room was closed so Kaidan knocked. He didn't remember seeing anyone in there when Shepard had dismissed them from the briefing earlier, so he wasn't surprised when he didn't get a response.

“Aw, come on, sir, you aren't going to make the rest of us clean everything up once we get things back on line, are you?” James complained as he swept his flashlight around the conference table.

Kaidan chuckled. “Well, such menial labor is certainly beneath my pay grade. Especially when I outrank everyone else on the ship.”

“So, that means Lola is going to help, too, right?”

Kaidan paused and glanced back over his shoulder. He was trying not to think about the fact that one minute Shepard was standing in front of him, giving him the ring back and the next, she was just... gone. “Yeah, James. You know she'd help anyway,” Kaidan said quietly.

“We'll find her, sir,” James said, placing a reassuring hand on Kaidan's shoulder.

Kaidan gave the young man a brief nod and studied the first door that would take them to the guard room that stood between them and the CIC. On either side of the door, a couple of floor panels had been replaced with panels made from a clear, reinforced plastic compound. Kaidan wondered if there was an override panel under the floor boards that might make opening the door a little easier. He knew his way around a lot of systems but he didn't really have time to hone his hacking abilities on the Normandy. Not to mention that EDI tended to get upset if anyone tried tampering with her systems.

“I don't suppose you know anything about the ship's schematics? Maybe if there's a panel or something we can hack into?” he asked wryly. He knew James would answer in the negative – the man was a soldier who's skills were in weapons and killing.

As expected, James shook his head. “You're the sentinel, sir. I just shoot shit.”

Kaidan sighed and had James direct his flashlight on the floor boards. He pulled up the clear panels on first one side of the door, then the other. He sighed heavily when he didn't see any sign of an access panel or any other way to try and force the door.

“Well, I guess we have to do this the hard way, then,” he muttered. “You want to give me a hand with this?”

He and James detached the flashlights from their rifles and holstered the weapons to their backs. Taking advantage of the lack of gravity, they simply placed their lights in mid-air, carefully aiming the beams so they lit up the door. The pair then moved to opposite sides of the door frame and carefully worked their fingers into one of the splits in the door and struggled to pull it apart.

“Why couldn't they have put a simpler door in here?” James panted after tugging and pulling for several minutes to no avail. “I mean, seriously, sir. This five-way thing is ridiculous.”

“You wouldn't have said so when the Collectors took everyone from the ship,” Kaidan puffed. “Come on, Vega. Put some damn muscle behind it. Or maybe this is how Shep beat your pull-up record?”

“Oh, now that's just low, sir,” Vega panted as he readjusted his grip and moved his feet. “And she only beat it by one or two.”

“But the point is she beat it,” Kaidan said, as the door finally started to give way. “Well, now we're getting somewhere.”

After more readjustments and heaving, they finally got the door open just far enough to squeeze through. James swore under his breath when he saw that there was a second door they needed to force open. “There has got to be an easier way,” he muttered as they sized up the massive piece of metal keeping them from the CIC.

“How about if we take a breather for a few minutes?” Kaidan suggested. He could feel a dull throb start behind his eyes. It wasn't an L2 flare – those started at the base of his neck, where his biotic amp was. This headache was something different, something new. When James didn't protest, Kaidan pinched the bridge of his nose and put a finger to his ear.

“Joker, do you copy?”

“Finally!” came the relieved response. “What the hell happened? One minute, things are just peachy and the next the lights are out, I'm floating out of my damn chair and EDI goes offline!”

“EDI's down?” Kaidan asked. If he hadn't been concerned before he sure as hell was now. There was no way Shepard would pull a prank that would endanger the ship/EDI and therefore the crew, too.

Joker's voice had an “I'm panicked but trying damn hard not to show it” tone when he answered. “Whatever that light was acted like an EMP and fried the systems, Major. I've got nothing – gravity is off, the only comms we have are what we're using now , we have no shields, weapons, no nothing. I can't get a response from EDI, either, even though her black box is supposed to fucking protect her from this kind of thing.”

“So you could see that light here, too?” Kaidan asked.

“Damn right, sir! It was like Christmas only with a lot less red,” Joker said. “When it went away, I thought someone had flashed a huge, green camera bulb in my face. It took a bit for my vision to clear up.”

Kaidan glanced at James. “If Joker could see that light, too, then it's probably a safe bet it flooded the entire ship,” he said slowly. He was liking their situation less and less with each passing minute.

“Is our orbit still stable?” James asked.

Joker paused a few moments before answering. “As far as I know. Again, since EDI's down and I have no power, I have no way of checking.”

Just then, EDI's voice came over the comms. “We are still in a stable orbit, Lieutenant Vega.”

Kaidan breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of the ship's AI. If she was back online, it hopefully wouldn't take too long to get the rest of the systems up and running. And maybe he and James wouldn't have to force the door open.

“EDI, is there any chance you can get this door open for us? Or at least get it a little open so we can get a hand hold and pull it apart?” Kaidan asked.

“One moment, major,” came the clipped response.

“Well, the upside is we don't have to wait on that damn body scan.” They turned their flashlights off to save their batteries while they waited for EDI to work her magic. Kaidan took a few moments to catch his breath - between the exertion from climbing through the ducts and prying open the door while wearing his full armor and the lack of air circulation, he felt as though he'd just finished running a triathlon. A glance at James told him that the young man was feeling it, too. It also looked like he had something on his mind.

“Any thoughts, Lieutenant?” Kaidan asked.

James pursed his lips and thought for a moment before answering. “Probably nothing you haven't already considered, sir. The ship is stable and so far everyone seems to be ok, but we still have no power, no gravity, no air. We don't know what that light was or where it came from.” The big man shifted uncomfortably on his feet before continuing. “And we don't know where the Commander is.”

“Any theories?” Kaidan pressed. His headache was starting to get worse and he was starting to have a hard time focusing. He was hoping that James might have had some idea, some theory that might help him get his own thoughts back on track.

James just shook his head. “Nothing at the moment, sir. But once we get to the bridge and get a better assessment, something might click.”

Even though James couldn't see it, Kaidan nodded his head in agreement. There were still far too many unknowns to even try to think about the who's or why's. “EDI, any luck with this door?” Kaidan finally asked.

“All of the ship's systems are currently unavailable, Major,” came the clipped response. “I was hoping I could route some back up power from elsewhere on the ship but it seems as though we are completely helpless.”

Kaidan shuddered at that word but she was right. No weapons, no shields, no way of calling for back up. Hell, they wouldn't even know they were under attack until it was too late. “Well, then, I guess we'd better get busy,” he said to James. “EDI, in the meantime, please figure out what are options are.”

The pair turned their flashlights back on and set to work on the door.

“Already done, Major,” EDI responded. “I thought you might like to wait until you and Lieutenant Vega are on the bridge before I share that information with you.”

“That's probably a good idea,” Kaidan grunted as he and James began trying to pull the door open. With each exertion, the pounding behind Kaidan's eyes got worse. It wasn't too long before he started seeing spots floating in his vision. Years of practice with his L2 migraines taught him how to work through the pain and push it aside.

“EDI,” he said just as the door started to creak open, “I'll need a head count, too. I need to make sure we have everyone accounted for.”

EDI paused a few seconds before answering. “All of my sensors are inoperable,” she said. Kaidan thought he heard concern in her voice. “I do not know if any of the crew suffered any injuries during the event.”

Kaidan fought a wave of nausea as he and James finally pried the door open enough to fit through. They scanned the area around the galaxy map – the handful of crew present were strapped into their chairs and turned to look at Kaidan and James as they entered the CIC. Everything seemed ok, except for Traynor, who had a death grip on the rail near Shepard's platform overlooking the galaxy map.

“Do you have any way of knowing if everyone is present?” he asked as he clunked toward Traynor's work station. He took her hand and pulled her toward an empty chair, helping her strap in.

“I do not,” came the reply.

To Traynor, he said, “You know, you could have probably worked your way over here on your own.”

“With all due respect, sir, it was dark. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face much less guess where I might end up if I pushed off. Plus, I know my area like the back of my hand. I was trying to see if I could figure out what had happened. Maybe try and bring at least the lights back on.”

After she was secure, Kaidan asked, “Did you see anything odd before the power went out?”

“You mean aside from that horrible green light?” she asked.

“Well, the light was what I meant,” he said. “But did you notice anything else? Any sound? Smell?”

Sam thought for a few moments and said, “There was a hum, but I felt it more than I heard it, if that makes sense.”

“A hum?” James asked.

“Yes. Very low and very quiet. As the light got brighter, the hum became more noticeable.”

Kaidan looked around at the other people there. “Did any of you experience that? Hear or feel a hum?”

His flashlight passed from person to person as each one nodded in agreement. James let out a small “hmph” when they finished and stepped closer to Kaidan, dropping his voice to keep others from overhearing. “I didn't say anything sooner because I thought it was just me, but I heard that hum, too. It was weird as hell, sir, made my whole chest vibrate. What do you think that means, sir? Did you hear it, too?”

Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck as he surveyed the crew in the CIC. The light from their flashlights had enough of an ambient effect as to let him see the faces of the crew, each looking at them with a mixture of fear and expectation. Fortunately, none of them asked after the Commander; if they had, Kaidan wasn't sure he'd know how to answer. Telling the truth might start a panic and lying could undermine their trust in him. And as long as Shepard was missing, the Normandy was his and he needed them to trust him. “I don't know yet, James. First thing's first, though. Let's get to the cockpit and check on Joker.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - -

Joker was strapped in his seat, one hand propping his head and the other drumming on a dark and apparently useless console. EDI's empty body was strapped in the co-pilot's seat. Kaidan could see the straps were pulled tight to keep her from floating off. When he called Joker's name, announcing their presence, the pilot whipped his head around.

“Ow,” he said, rubbing his shoulder. “Damn straps are too tight and I can't loosen them. It's about time you got here!”

“Sorry, amigo, but we felt like taking the scenic route,” James joked. “It was part of the travel brochure – 'see parts of the Normandy few have seen before!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Joker muttered.

Kaidan paused for a moment, fighting another wave of nausea as the throbbing behind his eyes increased. “EDI, why aren't you in your body?”

“The ports I use to access that form are inoperable. I am confined to the ship's systems and those are extremely limited.”

Kaidan tried to think, but the pain in his head was making it extremely difficult. He'd never experienced a headache like this before. “You said the sensors are down but you can talk to us. Can you communicate with other people elsewhere on the ship?”

“I am unsure. I have attempted to broadcast that the ship was in no danger and that the crew should attempt to secure themselves to something sturdy and await further instructions. I have not been able to detect any responses from anywhere on the ship.”

“But you could hear us in the ducts,” James said.

“Perhaps the ducts were somehow shielded from the phenomenon,” EDI surmised. “We did not have contact, however, until you were ready to climb into the conference room.”

“Well, I just figured that was because you were down,” Kaidan said, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “What are our options?”

He tried to focus as EDI explained that she had been trying to get life support back online. The wherefores and whatnots were lost to him, however, as pounding in his head became unbearable. Pinpricks of light danced in his vision and he became dizzy. If his boots didn't have him firmly planted on the floor, he would have fallen over.

“Sir,” James asked moving to stand closer to him, “Major, are you alright?”

“My head...” Kaidan gasped. He couldn't pass out. Not now. He needed to know where Shepard was and he needed to have James fetch her while he went to the med bay. “EDI, can you at least track people in their armor?”

There was a brief pause before the AI responded, “Yes. Those sensors appear to be working. I can detect that you and Lieutenant Vega are on the bridge.”

Kaidan swallowed hard and closed his eyes. Darkness began to creep into his vision as he struggled to remain conscious. He had just one more thing he needed to know. “EDI, where is Shepard?”

Again, another brief pause ensued before EDI said, “Commander Shepard is no longer aboard the Normandy.”

It was the last thing he heard before surrendering to the inky blackness that had crept into his vision.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard finds herself someplace that isn't the Normandy's shuttle bay and makes a friend. Kind of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Chapter 2. Pretty much all plot. This chapter starts to explore some of my ideas for tying the two fandoms together. I hope you like it. Comments/questions are welcome and appreciated!

A pair of shadows lurked, hidden in the darkening forest. She had felt an odd pull in the Veil, as though it was twisting around on itself. She cast her magic, beckoned her companion to follow, and wandered through the trees, following the push and pull of the Veil until it led her to a rocky outcrop overlooking a small clearing. The clearing was bathed in a soft, green light, almost as though the light was coming from beneath the surface. The woman frowned at the sight and rubbed her chin as she considered things.

The forest was slowly but steadily reclaiming the clearing – the trees and bushes were removed long ago but something unfamiliar had been, for the most part, keeping the wilderness at bay. Whatever this power was, it was foreign to her and she yearned to know more about it.

Her visions had led her here, eons ago. When she first arrived, she carefully picked her way around the perimeter, curious about the odd nature of the Veil here. It wasn't necessarily weaker here, just... different. She traveled here occasionally, watching, listening, studying the area. Nature did as nature does and tried to force its way across only to be beaten back. She never saw how it happened or knew exactly when. All she knew was that the Veil was different here and it allowed the area to remain relatively clear of trees and underbrush. Even the animals tended to give the space a wide berth.

As she aged, her wisdom and power grew and still this small area remained a mystery to her. She knew that, in time, what made this place special would make itself known to her. She just needed to be patient and wait, something she'd become very good at over her long, long life.

Her friend didn't feel the Veil as she did. His connection was to something else – something much darker. She didn't envy him that. She carried her own burdens and couldn't imagine the demons he had to deal with. He was much, much older than he looked and their friendship was nearly as old. He saw the same green glow but didn't feel the strange power that accompanied it.

“Will there be trouble?” he asked. He wasn't one to shy away when things took a turn for the worse. Indeed, he took meticulous care of his armor and sword so that it wouldn't fail him when he needed it most. The moonlight reflected off the metal like a beacon, something he would take great care to hide if he were anywhere else or with anyone else. He folded his arms across his chest and waited for an answer.

“There is always trouble,” she replied, her chuckle sounding more like a cackle. “The question is whether or not it finds you.” She didn't take her eyes from the clearing as the light slowly faded. “Your own dreams have told you of the trouble that will soon find us all.” She turned and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Go,” she said quietly. “Take care of what you must but do not tarry. I will soon be having a guest and she will need your help in preparing.”

Her friend frowned and played with his beard. “Preparing? For what?”

“Do you believe in destiny, my friend?” she asked.

“You know I do,” he answered. His own destiny changed years prior when a theft attempt went horribly wrong and caused a good man to die.

“All of our destinies just became twisted with what that light brought with it.” She looked back at the clearing and closed her eyes, reaching out with her magic, trying to use the Veil to tell her a little more about what had just happened.

“Yes, definitely twisted,” she murmured, slowly opening her eyes. “And she will definitely need your help to prepare for hers.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

The light had been blindingly brilliant – a more intense green than Shepard had ever seen before in her life. She'd raised an arm to shield her eyes for what good it did - it was as though thousands of flashbang grenades had gone off at the same time only without the sound. As the light diminished, Shepard blinked several times trying to clear the black spots from her eyes. She realized in an instant that she was no longer on the Normandy – even though she couldn't see properly, her sense of hearing and smell hadn't abandoned her. She immediately pulled her shotgun from her back and dropped down to one knee, her dog tags dangling from her fingers, blinking as she tried to watch for any type of movement around her.

“Kaidan!” Shepard put a finger to her ear to trigger her comms whispered as loudly as she dared. Her call was met with dead silence – no playful banter, no static, nothing. “James? Joker? Can anyone hear me?”

Shepard slowly turned in a circle, taking in her surroundings as her vision gradually cleared. She was in a cavernous room; it smelled of damp earth which made her think she was actually in an underground grotto of some sort. She kept one ear tuned to her comms and the other listening for anything – animals, people, any hint that she wasn't there alone. Shepard slowly rose to her feet, continuing her slow rotation as she noted the room's layout.

The room was oval shaped – Shepard guessed it was at least 50 meters long and well over 100 meters high - with a massive bank of computers and tech on one end and an archway on the other. The elongated walls were lined from floor to ceiling with pods similar to the ones she'd seen on Ilos. As soon as she saw them, Shepard lowered her shotgun just a bit and approached one of the walls. “Protheans?” she muttered to herself. “Where in the fresh Sam hell am I?”

She looked around in confusion, raised her weapon again, and carefully made her way along the wall of darkened pods toward the archway. She peeked around the corner, listening as well as looking to see if anyone was lying in wait. Instead of the expected ambush, however, Shepard saw what appeared to be living quarters – the room was half again as big as the tech room, bunk bed type cots and wall lockers were neatly arranged on either side, while the short wall had yet another door in the center and was flanked by long, metal counters.

Shepard carefully swept the room, scanning under the cots to make sure there was no one plotting her demise. When she'd reached the far wall with the door, she hesitated. She slowly ran her fingers along the door, which appeared to have been carved from the rock wall. There didn't seem to be any hinges, so she wasn't sure if the door would swing or slide, not that it mattered since she didn't see any way to open the damn thing in the first place.

Placing her finger to her ear again, she tried her comms one more time. “EDI, I need a scan of the area I'm in. Joker? Can anyone hear me?” When her request was met with silence, Shepard closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, trying to calm the rising panic in her chest. Sure, she could fight alone – she'd proven that time and again, most recently when she chased after the good Dr. Kenson and took care of the Alpha Relay. No, it wasn't the thought of facing an enemy on her own that had her worried; it was the fact that she didn't know where her ship or crew was and whether or not they were all ok. 

What if that light had done something to EDI? What if the Normandy had crashed because of it? Did they know she wasn't on the ship anymore or had she somehow been replaced by a doppelganger? Shepard shuddered at the thought of another clone. The last one wrecked a lot of havoc and nearly stolen her ship. And it hadn't been overly fond of Kaidan.

Kaidan. A heavy weight pressed on her chest as she thought about their last words. It was definitely not how she wanted to leave things. Even with the hurt in her heart, she couldn't help but wonder if he was ok – him above anyone else on the Normandy. She had never, ever in a million years guessed that he would have ended things. Shepard stared sadly at the tags still dangling from her fingers. Had he been hoping to change her mind? That the thought of losing him might spur her into agreeing to becoming Mrs. Kaidan Alenko? The idea that he had even considered letting her go did nothing to soothe her. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as the idea that she might never get the chance to talk to him about all of this crept into her mind. 

Shaking her head, Shepard and forced her mind back to her present predicament. She couldn't – wouldn't – assume the worst. Not yet. She had to hope that they'd find her and pick her up and soon. Right now, she had to get a better grip on her own situation. Realizing that the cave was probably blocking the communications to her ship and crew, Shepard decided to head back to the tech room and see what she could figure out there. Confident that she was alone but unwilling to risk someone or something coming through the stone door, she dragged one of the bunks to the door – anyone coming through would have to work around it and she'd have some warning that she was about to have company.

Securing her weapon to her back, Shepard strode to the tech room, trying her earpiece one last time. She sighed and shook her head when her queries were still met with dead air and moved to one of the pod-covered walls. Shepard gently ran her fingers over the dark casings, wondering if the same thing had happened here that had happened on Ilos. She doubted that a place like this would be without some type of electronic help, so she quickly moved to the array of computer equipment. She noticed that a thick layer of dust covered everything, hammering home the fact that this place, wherever it was, hadn't been inhabited for quite some time.

As soon as she neared the monitors, several keyboards lit up. Shepard cast one more wary glance around her, making sure no one had snuck up behind her. Her fingers began to dance over one of the keyboards. She didn't know how she knew what to type, her fingers seemed to have a mind of their own as they spelled out command after command. She shouldn't have been surprised – she'd done nearly the same thing on Eden Prime when they'd discovered Javik.

A few moments after Shepard typed the final command, a small, round door on the far left side of the console slid open and a green orb floated into view. It stopped a few feet from her and hovered silently at eye level; Shepard got the feeling it was giving her the once over. Finally, a beam of light shot out from the center of the orb and the image of a Prothean suddenly appeared before her.

“You are not Prothean,” the image stated.

Startled, Shepard reflexively pulled her shotgun from her back. Her shock quickly wore off, though, and she dropped her weapon just a bit. “I am not,” she answered.

The image studied her for a few moments. “Human. Female,” it observed. “Our last records indicate your species resided in caves and had barely discovered fire.”

The image slowly walked around her, examining her. The orb followed, continuing to project the Prothean shape as it moved. “How is it you came to be here?” it asked, stopping again in front of her. “Having a human appear here was not a foreseen outcome.”

Shepard stared at the image for a few moments before explaining how one moment she was on her ship and the next she was in the cavern. “I don't supposed you can tell me where 'here' is, can you? I can't contact my ship or crew. I need to make sure they're ok. I need to let them know that I am ok.”

A few more moments passed before the image spoke, ignoring her questions. “What is the status of the galaxy? Has the next cycle started?”

Shepard sighed and wondered if, or even when, she might get some information. “The cycles no longer exist,” she replied. “The Reapers were defeated.”

The image cocked its head slightly. “Defeated? Then you and I have much to discuss.” The image crossed the room and walked toward the living quarters, the orb slowly trailing behind it. Shepard realized that she was seeing the same tech that the Illusive Man had used to talk to her on Thessia and what she had seen with Vendetta, the Prothean VI on Thessia.

“You're a VI,” she stated as she followed the image. The other Prothean VIs Shepard had come into contact with had known just where the current galaxy stood on the Reaper-harvest timeline. She wondered why this one seemed to not know what was going on.

“I am.” The image turned and faced her again. “My name is Vestige. I am the second VI created by Ksad Ishan, overseer to one of our research facilities.”

Shepard frowned as she tried to remember why that name sounded familiar. “Research... Oh, Ilos!” she exclaimed. “You're Vigil's brother. Well, kind of.”

“If you wish to think of my creator as my father then yes, Vigil is my brother. You have been to Ilos?”

Shepard sighed and sat down on one of the bunks. “Well, you said we had a lot to talk about. It might be better if you can tell me what you do know.”

The VI paused a moment. “The information I can share is limited by my programming and your lack of security clearance so I cannot tell you everything.”

“Well, you said the last you knew of my species, we were still banging rocks together. You obviously can't or won't contact anyone outside of this cave or you would have known about the Reapers. So, tell me what you can.”

Vestige thought for a moment before answering. “Perhaps it would be better if you explain to me the events over the past cycle. That will allow me to update the information I have and be able to better answer your questions.

Shepard nodded. “Do you want a quick dissertation of human evolution and the state of the galaxy? Or do you just want to know what happened with the Reapers?”

“For now, just the information on the Reapers. I am certain that we will have time for my other questions to be answered.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow and wondered just what exactly the VI meant. She had no intention of remaining her any longer than necessary – she only needed to get out of the cave and try to establish a link with her ship and crew. For now, she'd play along and give the VI the information it asked for. Hopefully it would be enough to at least get her out of the cave.

Cracking her neck, Shepard launched into an edited version of everything that had happened over the past several years. She told Vestige the tale of the Reapers, starting with seeing Sovereign on Eden Prime, detailing the use of the Collectors (and explaining how EDI had discovered the Collectors were actually Prothean), and the Reapers' final assault on the galaxy. She explained that they were able to build the Crucible and discovered what the Catalyst had been, thus enabling the weapon to finally work and end the cycles forever.

The VI listened intently, stopping her only occasionally to ask questions about weapons and strategy. He didn't seem surprised that the Protheans had been changed and served the Reapers. His interest was piqued when she mentioned finding Javik on Eden Prime. “So, my people yet live?” he asked.

“Well, Javik is the last,” Shepard said sadly. “And he was an invaluable member of my team.”

“I will assume he was not on your ship otherwise he would be here with you.”

Shepard shook her head. “Javik is with an asari friend of mine. The last I knew, they were working on a book.”

“And this 'cipher' you received on Feros gave you knowledge about the Prothean culture?”

“Yeah,” Shepard nodded.

“That must be why you were brought here, then. The beam thought you were Prothean.”

Shepard laughed at that. “That wouldn't be the first time. When we found Javik on Eden Prime, I was able to see the video footage Cerberus had uncovered as a Prothean would have. It's a shame, though, that your beam wasn't programmed to actually look at the being it's supposed to teleport first otherwise it would have seen that I am obviously not Prothean.”

The VI said nothing; it only stared at Shepard, its hands clasped behind its back. After a few minutes of silence, Shepard finally stood and walked to the door she had barricaded earlier. “I guess I'd better step outside, then, and see if I can't get a hold of my ship,” she said as she moved the bunk out of the way. “I'm thinking this cave is blocking the signal. Would you please tell me how to open this door so I can leave?

“It isn't the cave, Commander,” Vestige informed her. “You communication system will not work anywhere on this planet.”

Shepard raised a startled eyebrow at that revelation. “What do you mean? Why not? Is there some sort of ion field or something? Is the radiation from the sun too strong?” As advanced as the current communications tech was, it still had its flaws and the list of things that would disrupt them was quite lengthy.

Vestige shook his head and indicated she should sit. “Please, let me explain.”

Shepard sighed and rubbed the back of her neck again but did as he asked, sitting cross-legged on one of the bunks. Once she was comfortable, the VI took a seat across from her.

“Have you ever heard of the Inusannon?” he asked.

“Yes. Javik mentioned them once or twice. They were one of the species in the cycle previous to yours.”

Vestige nodded. “Yes. There were very few records of them but we were able to glean enough information to figure out that a large group of them fled here during their cycle. The personnel in this facility were to work in tandem with Ilos to find a way to stop the Reapers. However, once the science team landed, they immediately lost contact with the ship, our home planet, everything. It was a problem but the priority was to follow the Inusannon and attempt to find a solution to the Reaper threat.”

“Why didn't they just get back on their shuttle or whatever?” Shepard asked.

“They destroyed the airship that brought them here. Having a ship on the surface, even one as small as a shuttle, ran the risk of being discovered by the Reapers. The team knew that once they arrived here, they would not be leaving unless the Reapers could be defeated.”

Shepard sighed. The mission through the Omega-4 relay had been like that – there was no guarantee that any of them would be coming home – so she knew what those Protheans must have felt when they signed on to come here. Wherever 'here' was.

“So, just what planet is this?” she asked, leaning back on her hands.

The VI paused for a moment as it checked its memory banks. “The native peoples refer to this place as 'Thedas'.”

Shepard pursed her lips and frowned. There were myriad known planets in the galaxy making it nearly impossible to remember them all but that name didn't even ring a bell. “What star system is it in? Where in the galaxy are we? And how do you know what the people here call this place?”

Again, the VI paused for a moment before bringing up a map of the galaxy. It looked very similar to the one Shepard had on the Normandy. At the top part of the map was an area surrounded by a green box. “We are located in this region of the galaxy,” Vestige said, waving his hand toward the highlighted area. “During our cycle, the area had been largely unexplored and therefore unknown. We did not know what we would find regarding the Inusannon but the simple fact that we had very little information on this region led us to believe it might remain untouched by the Reapers. It appears we were correct.”

Shepard stood and studied the projection – it was the same area she had just been with the Normandy. “This area hasn't been explored during this cycle, either. It was why I was actually in the neighborhood, so to speak. We were mapping the area for the Alliance.”

“The Alliance?”

“Yeah. The Systems Alliance. It's the political and military...” Shepard sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “You know what? I've been in here for quite a while. I could really use some fresh air. And something to eat.” She stood and walked toward the door again. “Would you please open this or at least tell me how to open it?”

“No. Not yet. I do not have enough information to determine whether or not you pose a risk to this facility and its purpose.”

“A risk? Your beam brought me here!” she exclaimed. “How is that my fault? I shouldn't be punished for that!”

“It is not a punishment. You are military, you should understand my concern regarding your unknown status as a potential threat.”

Shepard stopped short. “Concern? Since when is a VI 'concerned'?”

The image faltered only briefly, enough for Shepard's eyes to widen in shock. “You're self-aware, aren't you? You're actually an AI!”

Vestige said nothing. He simply stood with his hands clasped behind his back. Shepard began to circle him, her eyes narrowing. “When did you become self-aware? I know from my dealings with Javik that you weren't created as an AI, the Protheans would have destroyed you. When did you change? Was it before or after you became the only thing here?”

Vestige still said nothing. Shepard wondered if it was because all he knew was that AIs couldn't be trusted and she might destroy him. “You know, you aren't the first AI I've dealt with. My ship has an AI. There is an entire race of AIs out there called the geth.”

When the image maintained its silence, Shepard became a little unnerved. Her mind worked quickly. Vestige had been alone for thousands of years. He didn't have the experience of interacting with other beings like EDI or the geth did. Her fears quickly mounted when she asked, “You didn't kill them off, did you? The people here?”

Vestige seemed offended by her question. “No, I did not. The primary function of my programming was to sort and evaluate data. Secondary was to look after the people here. The... change in my awareness was gradual. I was able to use the sensors the science team had placed to watch others. To learn from their interactions. It was satisfying to be able to put a name to the things I had begun to feel.”

Shepard let out a sigh of relief. She had been correct in her assumption but Vestige's intent was still not clear. For now, she was thankful it was speaking again. “But I am the first person you've directly interacted with since your team... what? Disappeared? Died?”

“Died,” came the response.

“I'm sorry,” Shepard said.

“Do not be. At the time, it was simply another event; something else to catalog for others to find when the Empire was rebuilt. I will admit, though, that I miss hearing their arguments and debates, receiving new samples to analyze...” Vestige's voice trailed off and Shepard would have sworn he sounded wistful. The AI glanced at her and said, “Perhaps we can help each other but I need proof that what you have told me is the truth. I cannot allow you to leave and potentially compromise the security of this facility.”

Shepard sighed and shook her head. “What proof do you need?” she asked as she pulled up her omni-tool. She was thankful in that instant that EDI had insisted she keep unclassified records of her exploits stored there. “I have several terrabytes of data here. You're welcome to look through them. All I ask is that you keep your search limited to the Reapers.”

Vestige studied her omni-tool for a few moments before waving his hand toward the device. He vanished as the orb quickly floated to Shepard and hovered over it ran a laser over it. The orb then latched itself onto the tool and gently hummed.

“So, you have no knowledge of my species or our tech but your ball of light here just knew how to get the data from me?” Shepard asked in disbelief as Vestige reappeared.

“I scanned you when you first arrived and have been scanning you the entire time you have been here. I have worked up a detailed profile on your physiology, your armor, your weapon, and the device on your wrist. Your technology has not surpassed ours therefore it was fairly simple to access the information you offered.” Vestige walked to the doorway and studied it for a few moments.

“The doors are all accessed via handprint identification. If you place your hand anywhere on the door, I can give you the access you requested.”

“So you were able to find enough information to satisfy your curiosity?” Shepard asked.

The AI tilted its head and said, “I did. And I respected your request to limit my search although your device contained more information that I would like to study, especially regarding these Collectors. I can now update my own information banks and you have demonstrated that you may be trusted enough to leave the facility.”

“Thank you,” she said as she put her hand on the door.

The area around her hand glowed for a few seconds then darkened as the door slid open. “The next room was used for storage,” Vestige explained. “The far wall has a ladder carved into it. That ladder will take you to the surface.” The AI turned and walked back to the tech room.

“Wait,” Shepard called after it. “I take it that the planet's surface won't kill me? The air is breathable, there won't be animals waiting to tear my throat out, that kind of thing?”

Vestige turned around and said, “There are definitely creatures on this planet that will not hesitate to kill you. They are, however, not outside at the moment. I cannot guarantee your safety if you venture too far from here, though. And yes, the air is quite breathable.”

At that, the AI turned and strode out of sight. Shepard jogged to the ladder Vestige had described and quickly scurried to the top. The opening was about a meter around and covered by a panel that easily slid to the side. Instead of climbing completely out of the hole, she sat on the edge, letting her legs dangle over the side.

It was nighttime and Shepard turned her face skyward, smiling as a gentle breeze brushed past her cheeks. She put her finger to her ear and tried her comms. “EDI, can you read me?”

The response was more dead air. Not willing to give up so easily, she pulled up her omni-tool and scanned through the different Alliance frequencies. “To any vessels in the area, this is Commander Shepard of the SSV Normandy SR-2. I am stranded and in need of immediate evac. Please respond.” She waited a few minutes, hoping that she would hear something, anything letting her know that someone heard her plea and would get her back to her ship.

“Is anyone receiving this signal?” she asked again. When the response was still nothing, she programmed her omni-tool to send her message on all frequencies every hour. Shepard had hoped that the AI was wrong about the lack of comms – it had been there for over 50,000 years, after all, and there was a chance that during that time whatever had been blocking the Protheans communications was no longer an issue.

“I guess it's a good thing Javik is writing that book with Liara,” Shepard muttered. “I can only imagine what he'd have to say about this if he'd gotten stuck here with me.” Even with the full moon overhead, it was too dark for her to make out any type of detail about her surroundings. The noises she heard, though, reminded her of the forests on some of the planets she'd visited before – chirping, cawing, trees rustling as animals moved through them. She wanted to take a walk, darkness be damned, and get a feel for what was out there. She needed to find out if there was a suitable clearing for a shuttle to land. Or maybe see if it would be possible for her to make her own clearing and spell out an SOS for any overhead traffic to find.

Before she did any of that, though, she needed to eat. She knew she'd been on the planet for hours and had had nothing in all that time. She climbed back down the ladder, carefully replacing the cover, and looked for Vestige. She'd told him her story and now it was his turn to answer her questions, the first of which was whether or not there was any 50,000 year old food that might still be fit for consumption.

\- - - - - - - - - - - -

As Shepard expected, any food that had been stored in the cavern was no longer edible. Vestige had directed her to the cabinets where food had been stored. If there had been any fresh food, it had long ago rotted into nothingness. The seals on the cans and jars she found had also rotted away, leaving the contents to no longer be fit for consumption. Shepard sighed as she pulled a couple of energy bars from her belt and ate them. They did little to take the edge off of her hunger but it was better than nothing.

While she ate, Shepard peppered the AI with questions. It explained that the Protheans who had been there died off. There simply weren't enough of them to sustain a viable population. They all knew it was simply a matter of time. They spent the time they had setting up a vast network of sensors to collect a wide variety of data – information on the local flora and fauna, astrological information, solar and lunar cycles to help with planting and harvesting, even information on the indigenous people. Experience taught Shepard how to word her questions to get the information she wanted without (hopefully) triggering any kind of security protocol. When she asked about why there were pods if they knew they would be dying, Vestige paused for a moment.

“I do not know. Nor do I understand. They were supposed to place the sensors and calibrate the communications beam then put themselves into stasis. However, when the time came to enter their pods, each of them refused.”

Shepard paused mid-chew. “Refused? Why? I would have thought they would want to save themselves. Or at the very least, follow their orders.”

Vestige began to pace. “I am unsure. They were able to keep those conversations from being recorded. I did manage to record some small parts of what had been said, though.”

Vestige then replayed the broken pieces of conversation. Shepard couldn't glean much from what had been said but it was enough for her to piece together that they feared never being found or, worse, being found by Reapers. There were some snippets about their biotics being different and a small debate about uplifting... something. Shepard frowned a bit when she heard that. Her experience had shown her that not much good came from introducing a species to any technology it hadn't already discovered on its own.

While she listened, the AI cocked its head as it watched her. “You can understand what it being said?” it asked.

Shepard nodded as she swallowed her last bite. “Yeah. It's a long story.”

Vestige clasped his hands behind his back. “We appear to have plenty of time,” it observed.

“Actually, I need to get some sleep,” she said as she stretched. “And when I wake, I need to check out the area. I need to make sure there's a clear spot for a shuttle to land and for me to put out an SOS sign. I also need to know what resources are around so I can get some actual food in my stomach.”

Vestige gave a brief nod. “I understand. There is a bathing area on the left hand side of the living quarters.”

Shepard frowned when the AI disappeared. She didn't remember seeing any showers or tubs when she did her walk through but then again, it was only a cursory search. She walked into the living area and saw a door tucked in the far corner on the left hand side. Definitely easy to miss if one didn't know it was there. It made Shepard wonder if it had been hidden intentionally.

She wasn't surprised at the number of shower heads located in the small room. She remember Javik had to constantly wash his hands while he was on board the Normandy and she imagined it was much the same with the Protheans who had been here, too. She stared at the plumbing for a few moments, surprised that nothing had rusted shut and that water still flowed. Maybe maintenance was something Vestige had kept up with over the past several millenia. When hot water started pouring over her fingers, though, Shepard decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. She quickly shed her armor and stepped under the spray.

As she stood with the water coursing over her body, she thought about Kaidan. Was he ok? Was he looking for her _stupid question of course he was. Even if they'd ended things, he wouldn't just abandon her to her fate._ Was he thinking about her? Did he regret what had happened in the shuttle bay? Would he be willing to stay as they were and give up trying to convince her to marry him? And why did the idea of marriage still leave such a bitter taste in her mouth? She loved him, more than life itself and he'd proven that he felt the same about her. So why was it that she still was so vehemently against marrying him? She sniffled as the first tear escaped from the corner of her eye.

Shepard had no idea how long she'd been standing there, absorbed in her broken heart, hurt feelings, and concern for her friends. The water was still hot when a clunk against the door brought her back to the present.

“Commander? You have been in there for over an hour. Are you alright?” At least Vestige didn't just open the door. She wondered if he banged the orb against the door to get her attention – he certainly couldn't have knocked.

“Yeah,” she replied, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat and continued, “Yes. I'm ok. Just... thinking.”

Shepard turned the water off and quickly lamented the fact that she had no towels and no change of clothes. She wasn't about to put her armor back on while she was wet and she felt weird standing there naked knowing an AI was watching her. She sighed, realizing that she would have to try and fall asleep, wet and naked, on a bunk with no blanket and no pillow.

“This is going to be a long fucking night,” she muttered as she peeked out of the door, shivering as the cooler air from the other room hit her warm skin. “Vestige? Where are you?”

“Is there a problem?” The AI didn't take too long to appear in the doorway.

“Well, it's just that, um, I'm a bit modest in front of people I don't know. Could you make sure I have some privacy while I try to sleep? And could you maybe turn the heat up in here?”

Vestige cocked his head and considered her requests. “I will see that you are undisturbed for the next several hours unless it becomes necessary to wake you. Although the odds of that happening are relatively low.”

“Thank you.” Vestige turned and began to walk away, leaving Shepard to consider, yet again, everything that had happened.

_I have to keep busy._ she thought as she curled up on one of the bunks. She was surprised that whatever material was used to make it hadn't rotted away – it was still soft and relatively squishy. _First order of business will be to get some food, lay some traps. I have to scout the area and find a clearing to set up an SOS signal or sign. Maybe Vestige has a map of the area or something. There might be a town close by where I can barter for some local clothes or something._

The last thing that crossed her mind as she drifted off to sleep was Kaidan.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay. This chapter has been done but I've just not gotten around to posting it. My beta loves it, hopefully you'll like it, too. If you have any questions or find anything wrong, let me know. :)

When Kaidan finally came to, it was still black as pitch. He knew he was in the med bay – nowhere else on the ship smelled like antiseptic and medi-gel. He could feel that he was strapped down and that led him to believe the artificial gravity hadn't been restored yet. Still, he tried to sit up, groaning in the process. Dr. Chakwas was immediately at his side, a flashlight strapped to her head so she could see to undo the restraints.

“Take it easy, Kaidan,” she said, soothingly as she gently pushed him back. “I don't think it's a good idea that you get up and moving quite yet.”

The pounding headache had been reduced to a dull ache that still throbbed just a bit behind his eyes. “How long was I out?” he muttered.

“Nearly a solar day,” the good doctor responded.

Kaidan's eyes flew open. “A day?!” He tried sitting up again, ignoring the vertigo that threatened to make him toss whatever might still be in his stomach. “I have to get up. There is too much to do. It's still dark, so we have no power yet?”

“Major, if you don't lay back down, I will have to sedate you.” Dr. Chakwas changed her tone from warm and friendly to “I'm the doctor and you'll do as I say whether you like it or not, regardless of your rank”.

Kaidan huffed as he flopped back onto the bed, knowing better than to try and argue with her. It was a move he instantly regretted as the pain behind his eyes suddenly worsened. Seeing him wince, Dr. Chakwas prepped a hypo and shot some pain medication into his arm. It was then he noticed he wasn't wearing his armor.

“And where is my gear?”

“The lights are still out, yes, but EDI and Specialist Traynor were able to get life support functioning again. The artificial gravity works when it wants to which hasn't been problematic but is frustrating. It's also why you were strapped to the bed. We have ship-wide communications, too, but we still can't communicate with the comm buoys. After you passed out, Lieutenant Vega had a couple other crew members help pry the door open to the med bay so I could examine you. As far as I know, every door that was closed when the power went out will need manually opened.”

Dr. Chakwas put the hypo to get sterilized and continued, “As far as your gear, I had James help me remove it. I needed to make sure you had nothing else wrong aside from that headache. It's over there in the corner.”

Kaidan was suddenly thankful that he'd worn the new undershirt and pants Shepard had gotten him, otherwise things might have been a bit more embarrassing. And those small improvements Dr. Chakwas had mentioned did make him feel a little bit better. He and Vega would probably be the ones doing most of the work to pry open any doors. “Any word on Shepard yet?” he asked, rubbing his temples.

The doctor sighed and shook her head. “Everyone has searched everywhere on the ship and there's no sign of her. She's just... gone.”

Kaidan closed his eyes and fought to quell the pressure building in his chest. “Was Vega able to do anything while I was out?”

Dr. Chakwas shook her head. “He's been working with Lieutenant Cortez with the shuttle. I'm not sure what they're trying to accomplish, though.”

“And what about this headache? It wasn't an L2 flare.”

“No. No it wasn't.” The doctor stood and retrieved a datapad. “With the power being out, I had to resort to jury-rigging a battery to my scanners. From what I can tell, whatever it was that shorted our systems also wrecked havoc with your implant.”

Kaidan's face pinched in confusion. “But why wasn't the pain at the back of my neck? That's where my migraines usually hit.”

“Because those headaches are a side-effect of your implant. As far as I can tell, this headache was a result of your implant actually malfunctioning.”

 _Great_ , he thought. _Now this, too._ “So, what? I can't use my biotics?” he asked. He didn't even try to keep the irritation he was feeling from creeping into his voice.

“No. You can't. Not until I can get my equipment back online and take a better look. I think that whatever affected the ship's systems also affected the way your amp connects to your implant. I won't know for certain until I can actually scan that head of yours which means I won't be able to fix it until then. That means no biotics. Period.”

Kaidan sighed and nodded. They were stuck on the ship so there really wouldn't be a need for him to use them for now. “So you think that until you can fix whatever's wrong, my head will continue to feel like I drank too much ryncol with Wrex.”

“Precisely,” Dr. Chakwas smiled. “And I know how much you hate taking pain medication but I hope you'll see me if you need something. And preferably before you pass out again.”

“Am I allowed to leave yet?” he asked with a teasing grin on his face.

“I'd rather you wait just a few more minutes for that hypo to kick in.”

“Yes, ma'am,” he grinned.

His grin slowly faded as he stared at the ceiling, trying to keep images of Shepard from dominating his thoughts. Yes, it was important they find her and not just because he loved her and wanted – no, _needed_ to try and fix things. She was still a beacon of hope for nearly everyone in the galaxy and one of the most important and notable people in the history of mankind. In the short time since her recovery, the Alliance and the Council both heavily relied on her skills as a diplomat to smooth ruffled feathers. She was asked for favors, chaired charity fundraisers, gave inspirational talks, took the time she spent relearning her skills and used it to teach others the same things.... as he thought about it, he wondered how in the hell she had managed to do all of that, complete her therapy, and still make time for him. Oh, sure, he was constantly by her side anyway but she still always managed to make sure they had dinner alone or quiet time on the couch watching a movie. Shepard made it a point to make sure her calendar had time for him.

That last thought made his sinuses burn. He squeezed his eyes shut as he thought about how much they'd been through together. He'd put her through so much pain and heartbreak it was a wonder she even agreed to have him back on the Normandy let alone her bed. Their conversation in the shuttle bay didn't even come close to how it he had played it out in his head. He did a lot for her while she recovered but she did so much for him in return. He knew she hated ultimatums but he didn't know what else to do. Best case scenario had been her changing her mind; worst case was her getting angry for his either/or demand and they'd talk about it later. Kaidan never would have guessed Shepard would have so readily agreed to ending things. He squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to think of something else... 

He had to get everyone assembled in the conference room and find out what the ship's current status was. He needed to know how long it would be before they could leave orbit and link with a comm buoy. Had anyone else been adversely affected by the beam? What was the hum that everyone apparently heard and felt? What other systems had been affected? He was thinking that they first needed to get their comms back first – he could get a hold of Hackett and fill him in, asking for some back-up, too, in case anyone unsavory showed up. The ship's external scanners and sensors needed brought back online, too. He wouldn't be too upset if those wound up working before anything else. The ship's scanners could reach a considerable distance so they could look for Shepard while the crew was fixing other things.

He inhaled deeply, satisfied that he had at least some semblance of a plan. Comms first; scanners, ship-wide power, sensors, and shields could be worked on simultaneously and by other members of the crew. EDI could be in more than one place at the same time, so she could help direct those repair efforts.

His eyes snapped open in shock when he heard Dr. Chakwas swear as he felt himself float off of the cot. _Frustrating would be an understatement apparently_ , he thought as he realized he'd never heard the good doctor swear before. 

“I take it the gravity's been turning off at inconvenient times?” he asked.

“You have no idea, major,” the doctor responded dryly.

He made another mental note to make sure to find out when the artificial gravity would be running more reliably.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Once the gravity kicked back on again, Dr. Chakwas handed Kaidan a flashlight and accompanied him to the conference room. Since the power was still out, they were relegated to using the ductwork to climb between decks, a major reason Kaidan had elected to not put his armor back on yet. “Hopefully no one gets seriously injured,” Kaidan commented. “The elevator being down will make it hard to get to someone who might need help.”

“Not just that, Kaidan, but not all of us are as young as you are.” As if to emphasize her point, she stretched after climbing out of the shaft, popping several bones in her back.

Vega was wearing his armor and had attached flashlights to his shoulders; Traynor, Cortez, and Joker all had headlamps on. Kaidan couldn't help but smile when he wondered what Shepard would have thought about how they looked. Whatever conversation they had been having ceased as soon as he walked through the door. They each looked at him with a mixture of expectation and sympathy. Except for Joker. Joker looked like he wanted to punch Kaidan in the mouth. Kaidan shot him a questioning look only to have Joker frown and raise an eyebrow in response.

“Ok, first thing's first. Life support is back – good job with that. But did anyone get hurt?” Kaidan said after he shook his head in confusion. He looked at Dr. Chakwas and waited for an answer.

“Only some minor bumps and bruises from the lighting and gravity being off,” she said as she scanned a datapad. “A couple of people fell once the gravity came back on – I think they were just playing around. I already reprimanded them, major,” she said curtly, holding up a hand when he opened his mouth.

“Other than that, it's been people bumping into things since the lights are still out. Everyone on board should have a flashlight so hopefully we'll be seeing fewer of those injuries. Also, there are still a few doors that need pried open. Lieutenant Vega was able to round up some other able-bodied crewmembers to force the doors that had people trapped. As far as I know, no one else is stuck. There are still doors that aren't open but they lead to areas that didn't have anyone in them when the power went.”

Kaidan was happy about that. It could have been much worse, especially the first time the gravity kicked back on. The doctor also assured him that no one seemed to be suffering any lingering effects from the beam. She had instructed everyone on board to go immediately to the sick bay if they even so much as sneezed. Satisfied that the other crew members were in no immediate danger, he moved on to Cortez and Vega.

“You guys have been tinkering in the shuttle?” he asked.

Cortez then mentioned that what the Normandy was experiencing was much like what had happened to them on Despoina when they were looking for the Leviathan. He and Vega had been trying to fix the shuttle in the hopes that they'd figure something out they could apply to the rest of the ship as well. Thus far, they'd been unsuccessful in finding a solution; they'd only been able to figure out what wouldn't work.

“Well, that doesn't mean you've failed, though. You eliminated stuff, which helps,” Kaidan said. He thanked them for the idea and encouraged them to keep trying. He also suggested to EDI and Traynor that if they came up with something to fix any of the other systems on the ship they might first try to test them on the shuttle.

“Ok,” he sighed, ready to get to the serious stuff. “EDI, Specialist Traynor – talk to me. We still don't have power and the gravity is hit and miss. What's going on? Have you been able to get any other systems online? Have you been able to find anything out about what that light was?” Kaidan crossed his arms over his chest and waited for some answers.

“Our thrusters are still offline,” EDI intoned. “We are still in a stable orbit, however, so we are in no immediate danger.”

“And how much longer until we can travel?”

“Unknown. Our priority has been life support and gravity.”

“Since life support is back and gravity is at least working somewhat, we need to get our comms back online. We need to get into contact with Hackett and let him know what happened. As long as we're in a stable orbit, we really don't need to worry about thrusters.”

“Unless some bad guys show up and start shooting at us,” Joker muttered.

“And if that happens it won't really matter because we don't have weapons or shields,” Kaidan said, glancing at the pilot. “Besides, I'm sure your girlfriend has a few tricks up her sleeve.”

Joker narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to say something, but Vega nudged his shoulder. The pilot glanced at his friend, sighed, and ducked his head as he crossed his arms over his chest. _I wonder if Joker blames me for this,_ Kaidan wondered. 

“It is highly unlikely that the Normandy will come under attack. We scanned the system when we dropped out of FTL and found nothing to indicate the presence of hostile forces,” EDI replied. “I will develop a contingency plan in case this happens.”

“Ok, EDI, that sounds good.” Kaidan glanced at Traynor after she cleared her throat.

“Well, sir, about the light,” Traynor said nervously. Kaidan had to smile – for the amount of time she'd been on board and with how well she did her job, she still got nervous whenever she had to give reports like this. It was as though, even with all of her confidence in her abilities, she was deathly afraid of being wrong. Kaidan knew that Shepard had been trying to work with her on becoming more relaxed when speaking during briefings but it was a losing battle – the girl just got nervous around people who outranked her and questioned her about her job.

“As you know, it was also accompanied by a sound. EDI and I were able to figure out that the issues we're having with the ship are because of both the light and the sound. That's part of the reason we're having trouble getting everything back online.” One thing Kaidan did notice was that the more Traynor spoke, the more confident she became.

Kaidan would never had considered that the hum they'd all felt and heard would have affected the ships systems. He knew that sound could be used as a weapon – higher frequencies make certain age groups uncomfortable and therefore can be used to help with riot and crowd control. By the same token, certain frequencies could even destroy a person's eardrums. He wasn't aware of any organization that used sound waves like that but he never thought they could be used to disrupt electronic devices. When he said as much, EDI was quick to respond.

“I have been unable to find any instance where something like this happened. Specialist Traynor and I theorize that the infrasound that everyone felt and some of you heard worked in tandem with the EMP that was embedded within the light. Specialist Traynor is working on a device to try and duplicate the sound; when the shuttle is repaired, I would like to test our theory on the shuttle.”

“You mean you want to see if you can fry the shuttle's systems with a subwoofer?” Vega asked.

“In a sense, yes, although a subwoofer is still capable of emitting sounds...”

Kaidan held his hand up and said, “Right, I get it. Traynor, how long will it take you to build this thing?”

“Oh, not long, sir. Just a few hours.”

“Ok, then I need you to shift your priorities elsewhere. There's no sense in having you make a machine to test on a shuttle that isn't working yet. Once Cortez and Vega get her up and running, you can build your thing and we'll see about trying it out.”

“Understood, sir.”

“Now, about the light...”

“Oh, there was definitely and EMP embedded in the light, sir,” Traynor answered. “The damage to the ship's systems is consistent with that.”

“Can it be repaired?”

“It will take some time, major,” EDI responded. She explained that normally an EMP can use up to 50,000 volts to overload most electronic systems. Typically, computer CPUs are more vulnerable because their pathways are smaller and closer together, making them melt more quickly. EDI estimated that this particular energy burst was well over 100,000 volts; if the Normandy hadn't had her upgrades and retrofits, she would have been destroyed and the crew would have been killed. Even EDI's black box barely shielded her from the damage. As it was, the blast had taken her offline for several minutes. Fortunately, she hadn't placed blind faith in her black box being indestructible and had worked with Traynor to improve the AI's safety measures both during and after the Reaper war.

“So, what I'm hearing is that most of the electronics on board the ship literally got fried. How is it, though, that we still have datapads?”

“I have researched what data I had been able to gather before I went offline. The EMP actually targeted larger electronic systems. Smaller things, such as datapads and normal computers, were relatively untouched.”

“Wait,” Vega had been leaning on one of the glass walls surrounding the conference table. He pushed himself off and looked at the ceiling as he addressed the AI. “How can you program an EMP? It's an energy wave, isn't it?”

Specialist Traynor sighed. “Yes, it is. And EDI and I are trying to figure that out, Lieutenant. While we were pouring over the data she had gathered about the beam, we were able to determine that it was Prothean in nature.”

The conference room got very quiet and all eyes fell to Kaidan, who blanched at that revelation. “Prothean,” he murmured as the gears started turning in his head. “That might explain why Shepard is the only one missing.”

His voice trailed off as he forced himself to not lose focus on the other things that needed addressed first. “Is it possible that this was a weapon to use against the Reapers?” he asked.

Traynor frowned a bit as she considered Kaidan's theory. “Maybe,” she said slowly. “EDI and I would have to analyze the data a bit more, though.”

“And that can wait,” Kaidan stated. “For now, we need comms back online. Do what you have to do to make that happen. If it means cannibalizing other systems, then do it. We need to get word back to Hackett about all of this. The next priority after that is to get the external scanners and sensors working again. EDI, I need you to work with the rest of the crew, as well, to make sure we continue to work on getting power back to all systems. That includes getting our weapons and shields back online.”

Kaidan looked at everyone gathered around the table. “Am I missing anything?”

“Only your girlfriend,” Joker muttered again. Kaidan glared at the pilot as Vega nudged him again, harder this time.

“For your information, I haven't forgotten about her,” he answered coldly, “but I think we both know what she'd do if she found out I didn't take care of everything else that needed done before trying to find her.”

Joker met Kaidan's glare with one of his own. Kaidan knew that Joker's loyalty to Shepard was beyond reproach but he wasn't expecting this anger from him. He thought maybe Joker would be more worried, masking that concern behind his usual sarcastic comments and witty barbs. Without breaking eye contact with Joker, Kaidan said, “EDI, the internal scanners are working, right?”

“That is correct, major.”

“Have you scanned the ship for Shepard? To make sure she isn't just hiding somewhere?”

“I have run several internal scans using more than one filter. Commander Shepard is definitely not on board the Normandy.”

At that, Kaidan closed his eyes and leaned over the conference table, gripping the edge so tightly his knuckles started to turn white. “Then where in the hell is she?” Kaidan wouldn't – couldn't – think the worst. Somehow that light transported her away from the ship and landed her someplace else. It killed him to think that wherever she was, she was alone and that she was there thinking that maybe he no longer loved her. This was a great example of why his mom and dad always used to tell him to never go to bed angry. It was something he always tried to follow. Going to bed angry was one thing. This, though... this was a thousand times worse.

No one volunteered to answer his question. Even EDI kept any theories she may have had to herself. Kaidan slowly looked at everyone in the conference room. “We need communications back online. Like I said, I don't care what you have to do to make it happen. I want scanners back online, too.”

“We believe we're close to getting the external sensors and scanners running, major,” Traynor said quietly. “If you'll allow EDI and I to shift our focus there, we can scan the planets in the system for any sign of her.”

Kaidan clenched his jaw and considered what Traynor just said. The immediate concerns – crew safety and life support had been handled. He really needed the communications systems up and running, though.

“No. You and EDI keep working on the comms. EDI, find someone else who can help you with the sensors.”

“Yes, major.”

“Oh, and while I appreciate when people go above and beyond, you all know that Shepard would give you a hard time if you forget to take care of yourselves while we figure this out. So please make sure to eat and get some sleep.” His order was met with a few light-hearted chuckles.

“Anything else?” Kaidan glanced around the table.

“What about the doors, sir?” Vega asked.

“You and I will go deck to deck and open what's left. I'll just need to get back to the med bay and put my armor back on,” Kaidan answered. James nodded and grinned as he rolled his head and cracked his knuckles. “EDI, can you get me a list of the one that still need opened?”

Kaidan listened as EDI rattled off the doors on the ship that still needed opened. He closed his eyes when she mentioned that the door to Shepard's quarters was still closed. He wasn't quite certain he wanted to open that door just yet. He'd make sure he and James got that one last.

When no one else had anything to add, he straightened up and said, “Dismissed.”

As Joker hobbled past, Kaidan gently caught his arm. “What is with you?” he demanded once everyone else had left.

“What's with me?” Joker spat. “I should ask you that. What in the hell is wrong with you, asking Shepard to marry you, knowing damn well she doesn't want to and then having the balls to break it off when she still says no?”

Kaidan narrowed his eyes. “You were eavesdropping,” he said. It wasn't a question. He knew that Shepard had confided in James before they left the ship and while that upset him, he couldn't blame her for seeking some outside advice. Joker eavesdropping, though, was inexcusable.

“Yeah, I was. I knew there was something wrong when you guys did your briefing before you left and I wanted to try and help. For her sake.” Joker crossed his arms over his chest.

“What goes on between Shepard and me is none of your damn business, Lieutenant.” Kaidan was furious that Joker had listened in on their conversation in the shuttle bay. And he knew that Shepard would have been, too, although she would have forgiven him because he meant well.

“It is my business, _sir_ , because I was the one helping her pick up the pieces of her heart the last several times you broke it.”

Kaidan's lip twitched a bit but he didn't move as Joker took a couple of steps closer to him. “She deserves better than this,” he said quietly, making no effort to hide the anger in his tone. “I don't care how much ass-kissing you've done since Horizon but it hasn't been enough. And now that you've done this, you can bet I will do my damnedest to talk her out of patching things up with you. I used to have your back with her, _Major_ , but I'm done with that now.”

Kaidan didn't say a word as the pilot turned and hobbled out of the conference room. There was nothing he could say – Joker was right. He thought about it as he trudged through the CIC to the elevator. He stood in front of the door, waiting for it to open, lost in his thoughts. Shepard deserved so much better than what he'd given her. And while that was true, there was a point when he had to consider his own happiness, too. Was he happy with her, with them the way things were? Yes, he absolutely was. Other than this whole marriage thing.

It really bothered him, although he honestly didn't know why, that they were still only boyfriend/girlfriend. He wanted to settle down at some point and start a family. Shepard knew this and she also knew that part of the 'settle down' thing included marriage. He supposed she was just as much at fault as he was – they each knew what the other wanted in life and still they proceeded to fall madly in love with each other. Even so, there had to be some middle ground. Something they could do that would make them both happy. He just had no idea what it was.

Right now, though, he needed to find her. He needed to apologize and beg her forgiveness. Again. It was killing him that he not only didn't know where she was but he didn't know if she was ok. His heart wouldn't allow his mind to even consider that she might be dead. Instead, he was plagued with questions about her well-being. Was she cold? Hungry? Injured? Did she have a bed to sleep on or was she sleeping on the ground? Was she surrounded by people who would be friendly toward her or had she been dropped somewhere hostile?

It was only when he rested his head against the elevator door that he remembered it wasn't working. _Force of habit, I suppose,_ he thought to himself as he made his way back to the CIC to scurry through the ducts to deck 3 and the med bay.

As he traversed the tubing, he notified EDI that she should also see what could be done to get the elevator back online. If she couldn't get it running on a permanent basis, then they needed some way to get through the ship for emergencies that didn't rely on crawling through the ship's bowels. EDI acknowledged the request and said she would do what she could.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - -

After assuring Dr. Chakwas he was fine and the pain in his head had diminished tremendously, Kaidan put his armor back on and paged Vega to meet him on Deck 4. They'd start at the bottom of the ship and work their way up. And if anyone else was nearby, he'd snag them to help force the doors, too.

The pair worked in silence for a while, only speaking to have other members of the crew help. Since engineering had one of its two pairs of doors open, Kaidan wasn't worried about the second set. They made quick work of the door to what used to be Javik's quarters as well as the one where that pain-in-the-ass Diana Allers had stayed during the war. Kaidan hadn't thought too much of the woman – her 'reporting' (if that's what you wanted to call it) seemed more like she was just repeating what she'd heard on other news channels. Even with being on the Normandy and having the opportunity to see the war first-hand, very little of what went on made it into her reports. Kaidan often wondered if it was because her stories were heavily edited or if she was just incompetent. She only ever wore skin-tight mini-dresses and ridiculously high heels. Shepard had mentioned to her a couple of times about getting other clothes to wear as the flooring on board wasn't exactly meant for heels. Allers just laughed and said she'd be fine. And after a few weeks on board, she seemed to get lonely because she started hitting on nearly every man on board. Kaidan thought it was funny when she hit on Cortez. He kept refusing her advances and it only made her try harder. He finally told her point blank he was gay and that she should move on. Allers actually had the nerve to say that after one night with her, he'd straighten out. When Cortez relayed that bit of their conversation, Kaidan was furious. Cortez had just laughed it off, saying she was drunk and it hadn't been the first time he'd heard that. Shepard said that if it didn't bother Cortez, Kaidan should just let it go. But when Allers put the moves on Kaidan, Shepard moved her off the ship.

Vega must have known what Kaidan was thinking about as they worked on that door. “I'll bet Shepard was glad to have that reporter off of the ship,” Vega said.

Kaidan just shrugged. “I don't know why Shepard had her here in the first place. The Alliance has its own PR section and it isn't like she needed good publicity. God knows damn near everyone thought she was - _is_ amazing.”

Kaidan swallowed hard and said, “Can we talk about something else, please?”

“Yeah, sure, sorry,” James muttered.

They didn't talk much again while they worked on the doors on deck 3. An occasional question from a crew member, status updates from EDI, and the gravity shutting off once or twice served to break up the monotony of forcing the heavy doors open. While they worked on getting the war room door open on deck 2, Kaidan finally spoke.

“What did she tell you?” he asked quietly.

It took James a moment to realize what Kaidan was talking about. “She said you'd asked her to marry you, she said no, and you were upset that she hadn't changed her mind yet,” he shrugged.

Kaidan thought for a minute. “That's all she said?” he asked.

“Well, that's the short version. Although I think she probably gave me the short version, too. Honestly, sir, she didn't elaborate. What I told you is pretty much what she'd told me.”

Kaidan 'hmph'd a response. He really hated when other people knew when he and Shep were fighting and he really hated when they knew the specifics. He had one or two close friends that he could confide in but he rarely did so. It was difficult for him to open up on a personal level like that. Hell, it took Shepard months of being friendly before he opened up about what had happened at BaaT with Rahna and Vyrnnus. He knew, though, that Shepard only talked to someone else if she couldn't work through something on her own. Most of the time, when she and Kaidan fought, they were able to work through things on their own. He supposed he shouldn't be too angry, then, that she looked to one of her good friends for some help and advice. And he knew that James would keep her confidence. Hopefully.

“You, uh... you didn't say anything to Joker, did you?” he asked as they climbed through the ducts to deck 1.

James sighed. “No. He came to me. He said he'd overheard the two of you talking when we got back and he wanted to know if I knew anything about it.”

Kaidan clenched his jaw at that. Not only did Joker eavesdrop but he decided he was going to ask around to see who else knew about it. “Do you know if he talked to anyone else?” he asked through gritted teeth.

James shrugged. “I honestly don't know. When he asked me, I asked him why I would know. That's when he said he overheard her telling me about it.”

Kaidan sighed angrily and pinched the bridge of his nose. Shepard was definitely going to have to do something about that. Maybe until she got back, he could put EDI under strict instructions to make sure Joker's nose stayed in the center of his face and not in everyone else's business.

“Don't worry, sir, I put him in his place about listening in,” James reassured him. “I told him if he did it again, I'd not only stop letting him win at poker but that I would start betting things that he would actually miss. Like his porn collection.”

That actually got a chuckle from Kaidan. “Seriously, though, sir, I damn near put him through a wall. He can be thankful he's so damn fragile.”

By that point, they had reached the ladder to take them to the last door that needed open. Their door. _No, not anymore. It's just her door now,_ Kaidan thought sadly. _I am such a fucking idiot_

He and James positioned themselves on either side of the door. Just as Kaidan was about to pull, James quickly straightened up.

“Can I ask you something? As a friend?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure. I guess so,” Kaidan said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“What were you thinking?”

Sighing, Kaidan leaned against the railing and put his hands on his knees. “Honestly, I thought it might change her mind. Or at least get her to consider it more. I guess. I don't really know.”

“But you do know what you did was stupid, right?” James crossed his arms over his chest and gave the major a hard look.

Kaidan worked his jaw and shook his head dejectedly. “Yes. I know. I am an idiot. I know Shepard didn't deserve that. I know she deserves better than me.”

When he looked at James, his eyes were ready to spill over. “You have no idea what I would give to go back and redo that moment.”

He dropped his gaze to the floor and blinked quickly. He could shed his tears later, when he was alone. The last time he'd cried in front of anyone that wasn't Shepard was when they found her in the rubble that had been the Citadel. Just then, James put a hand on Kaidan's shoulder.

“It's alright, man,” he said quietly. “We've all said and done stupid things to the people we love.”

“I just hope I get the chance to try and make it up to her,” Kaidan replied softly.

“You will,” was the response, followed by a reassuring squeeze. “Now, what do you say we get this door open, huh? I've had my fill of emotional stuff for today.” The big man grinned as he took his place on one side of the door.

Kaidan chuckled as he stood across from James, working his fingers into the cracks in the door. “I'm glad this is the last one,” he said. “My fingers are getting a bit sore.”

“I hear that,” James replied.

The pair made short work of opening this last door. They'd gotten their technique down to a science and it was only a minute or two before the panels pulled apart. Kaidan walked into the room and James followed closely behind. The first thing they noticed were the dead fish.

“Well, shit,” James said as he peered at the tank. It wasn't surprising, really – with the power being out, there was no way to feed them and the pump and filter weren't running. “Lola won't be happy about that.”

“Shepard won't know because I'll replace them.” He quickly turned around to check on Squeak. Fortunately, the space hamster didn't seem like he minded the situation any – he was curled up in a fluffy little ball, sleeping. At first glance, Kaidan thought the little guy had died but then he saw its chest rise and fall as it breathed. “At least the little guy is alright. Shep's pretty damn fond of that fuzzy thing.”

“Hm,” James said with a sarcastic smirk on his face, “I seem to remember seeing some vids of you playing with him and trying to teach him tricks.”

Kaidan's face turned bright red. “Those were edited videos. I did no such thing.” There was a bit of a smile on his face, though, as he spoke.

Everything else seemed ok. The bed looked awfully inviting and Kaidan suddenly realized just how exhausted he was. “EDI, what time is it?” Kaidan asked.

“The time is 2142,” EDI responded.

“Shit, no wonder I'm tired,” James complained.

“Yeah, I know. For all of my talking about making sure everyone ate and got some rest, I just realized we haven't eaten yet.”

Just then, Kaidan's stomach growled. He was surprised he hadn't noticed his hunger sooner. With his souped-up metabolism courtesy of his biotics, he usually had to eat every couple of hours. He didn't want to climb back through the ducts, though, just to get food. All there was in Shepard's room, though, were a bag or two of chips, some apples, and a few bottles of water. Nothing substantial enough to hold him over until breakfast.

“I guess I'd better make my way to the mess and grab some food.”

“The beans aren't bad, sir,” James said. “I only had to use half a bottle of hot sauce on them last night.”

The gravity shut off on them again as they worked their way back through the ducts. When it came back on, EDI paged Kaidan.

“Major, I wanted to let you know that Specialist Traynor was able to get the outside scanners and sensors working again.”

“Good. I need you to thoroughly scan every planet you can and look for Shepard's biomarkers,” Kaidan said. They were finally getting somewhere. He hoped it wouldn't be too much longer until they were able to get a message to Admiral Hackett about this mess. “Let me know the instant you're finished.”

“Yes, major.”

Kaidan had to force himself to eat at that point. Hearing the news that the scanners were online again had his adrenaline up. All he wanted to do now was find out who needed help with what so he could do something – anything – to get more systems back online.

James picked up on Kaidan's new-found restlessness and said, “You know, sir, you did have a rather nasty headache. I think maybe you ought to just consider it a day and get yourself some sleep before you pass out on me again. I really don't want to haul your ass to the med bay a second time.”

“Well, this trip would be easier, since you don't have to drag me through the vents,” Kaidan smirked.

“True, but how am I supposed to look Lola in the eye when she finds out I had to undress you. Twice.”

They both laughed at that. “You're right, though, James. I do need to get some sleep. I have a feeling once the Alliance finds out about this, my nights of fitful slumber will be limited.”

“Major, I have finished scanning the planets that are within range of our sensors.”

Kaidan immediately perked up. He was hoping to hear that EDI had at least picked up _something_ for them to go on. He didn't want to get to excited at the prospect that maybe the AI had found Shepard but any clue or hint to his love's whereabouts would be welcome news.

“And?” he said impatiently. “What did you find?”

“Nothing.”

Kaidan's heart sank. “You're certain? Scan again. She has to be down there somewhere.”

“I have run the scans four times. I also ran my diagnostics after each scan to make sure the readings were accurate. I cannot locate any sign of Commander Shepard anywhere within range of my scanners.”

 

Kaidan slammed his fist onto the table. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. “I want the range on your scanners increased, EDI. Do whatever you have to do to make that happen. You need to be able to reach every planet in this section of the galaxy.”

“Major, that is impossible. We were mapping a part of the galaxy that is several dozen light years across. Even with everything on the ship running at optimum capacity, I would not be able to scan every planet in this area.”

“Right. Of course.” Kaidan rubbed his forehead when he realized just how ridiculous that request had been. Of course EDI wouldn't be able to scan the entire section that had been gifted to them. He knew that. He just let his emotions take control of his mouth. Again. “Increase the range as much as you can, then.”

“Major, you should know that while I cannot detect any sign of Commander Shepard, I have also not been able to detect that her vitals have ceased.”

Kaidan paused for a moment and thought about that. Shepard had been in her armor. If she was dead, EDI would have been able to detect that in her scans. The fact that she didn't meant that there was still a possibility Shepard was alive. Or it meant that she was somewhere that was actively jamming their scanner technology. Kaidan refused to think about that. As far as he was concerned, the lack of signal from Shepard's armor meant that she was still alive somewhere they just couldn't reach yet.

“Is Traynor still awake?”

“She is.”

“Tell her to get some sleep. In the morning she can work with you to boost your scanning range.”

“Yes, sir.”

Looking at James, Kaidan said, “You and Cortez get some sleep, too. Tomorrow I want you both working on that shuttle. Don't just help with the electronic stuff. Look over everything in the shuttle and see if anything may have been left behind there.”

“No problem, sir,” Vega responded.

Kaidan slowly made his way back to Shepard's quarters. He hesitated outside of the door; he'd never slept there without her, not even when she was recovering. He didn't want to sleep in the crew quarters and take a bed from someone there and Dr. Chakwas might not look to kindly on him camping out in the med bay. He sighed and slowly walked into the room. His fingers moved automatically to remove his armor and he flopped on his side of the bed.

He didn't know how long he laid there, staring at the empty half of the bed. He traced his fingers over her pillow, imagining her face there, eyes closed, lips slightly parted, breathing deep and steady as she dreamed. For as tired as he was, he knew he wouldn't sleep well tonight. He never did when they were apart. He pulled her pillow to his chest and pressed his nose against it, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.

And he cried himself to sleep.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

Over the course of the next several days, the crew were able to get more systems online. The artificial gravity still cut out now and then but it was on a lot more than it was off. Power had been restored to most of the ship and they were able to get the shields up and running. Dr. Chakwas had also been able to fully scan his amp and gave him a clean bill of health. She warned him to take it easy with the biotics for a while, though, in case there was still some internal damage her scanners couldn't pick up.

Kaidan had tried to keep as busy as possible to keep his mind off of his missing girlfriend. He did whatever he could – helping to clean when the gravity kicked on, moving boxes, holding flashlights or retrieving tools. Nighttime was the worst for him. Facing her empty half of the bed and smelling her perfume quickly led him to wondering for the millionth time where she was, whether or not she was ok, and would she ever be able to forgive him. He'd started falling asleep to vids he'd had stored on his omnitool; it gave his mind something else to focus on so he could finally drift off.

A huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders when EDI finally announced they could message the Alliance. Kaidan immediately went to the war room and fired up the QEC.

“Major Alenko!” Admiral Hackett's voice was a mixture of relief and fury. “Where in the hell have you been? I was giving it another 24 hours before I sent a search and rescue after you.”

“It's a long story, Admiral,” Kaidan replied. He quickly relayed the events of the past few days, telling him about the strange light, the odd noise, and the ship-wide systems failures. He made sure to note that the crew had worked nearly non-stop to get everything back in order.

“The Normandy is still in need of a lot of electrical repair, though, sir. We had to scavenge what we could from other parts of the ship to get everything working.”

“Understood. At least that explains why we couldn't contact you.”

“Sir, there is one more thing. Commander Shepard is missing.”

Hackett's expression barely changed – his right eyebrow lifted just a bit. “Missing? How did that happen?”

Again, Kaidan explained that when the light faded, Shepard was gone. “EDI hasn't been able to find any sign of her, sir. She and Specialist Traynor are working on increasing the range of the ship's scanning systems so we can keep looking.”

Hackett folded one arm across his waist and propped his other elbow on it, stroking his beard. After a few moments, he said, “Negative. I will send other ships to assist the Normandy to an Alliance dry dock and return to search the system.”

Kaidan clenched his fists at his side. He would not allow himself to be pulled from the search effort. His mind worked quickly as he tried to think of someway to be able to stay put.

“Sir, we still aren't sure what that beam was or how it got triggered. Are you sure it's a good idea to send more people here? What if that beam goes off again and disables more ships?”

Hackett pondered that for a few minutes. “You say the beam was Prothean?”

“That's what EDI and Traynor think, yes.”

“So it's probably safe to assume that it hit the Normandy because of Shepard. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this isn't the first time Prothean tech has mistaken the Commander for an actual Prothean.”

“No, sir, it isn't.”

“Then it's probably safe to assume that's the reason the Normandy was attacked. Still...” his voice trailed off as he thought some more. “You're probably right. We don't want to risk another ship falling prey to whatever device that was. However, we need to get you out of there, Major. And unless the Normandy can fly under her own power...”

“She can't, sir. We've only gotten the thrusters back online.”

“Then we need to send a ship in to pull you out.”

“If I may, sir,” Kaidan started, “send two ships – a tug and another frigate. The tug can approach the Normandy while the frigate stays just outside of the system. If it's all clear, the tug can take the Normandy to where she needs to be and the frigate can stay behind and search.”

“I take it you have a frigate in mind, Major?”

“I do, sir. Send the Falcon.”

Hackett smiled just a bit. “Spectre Vakarian's ship.”

“Yes, sir,” Kaidan nodded. “He will want to help as much as he's able. And you can trust him.”

“Very well.” Hackett straightened his jacket and clasped his hands behind his back. “I'll have to contact the Council and bring them up to speed on this. They'll want to know that their most famous Spectre is missing. I can't promise that they'll approve of Garrus joining you – they may not want two of their best together like that in case something else goes wrong but I have a feeling Garrus will come anyway once he finds out.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

“I'll be in touch as soon as I find anything out. In the meantime, sit tight and keep looking. Hackett out.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More about Shepard's predicament. Some more info that hints into how the 2 universes tie together and while some things might make you think, "Wait, what? How??" please know that I have put so much thought into this it isn't funny. And it may be a bit before I get Chapter 5 up. I am really, really struggling with it. I've gotten used to long chapters with a lot of detail and I find that's what I'm struggling with. My beta (the amazing Replica_Jester) has been extremely helpful, though, so we'll see. Just please know that I am working on it.
> 
> Also, the actual canon timeline is really messed up, so I will be tweaking that to fit the timeline of the story. More notes at the end...
> 
> As usual, questions and comments are appreciated! I might not be able to answer your questions now, though, as they might get answered later in the story. :)

Shepard couldn't remember the last time she didn't dream. Sometimes they were fleeting – brief snippets about the things she'd done or the people she knew. Sometimes they were those tendrils of smoke just staying out of reach of your memory. Most of the time they were nightmares – horrible memories of things blowing up, friends dying, things in her past playing out differently and for the worse. This time, though, there was nothing – not even a vague recollection, a feeling that she knew she'd had a dream but she just couldn't remember what. As she lay there in the bunk, she wasn't sure what to make of that or how she felt about it. She was certain she would have had a dream about Kaidan and she'd have been lying if she said it didn't bother her that she didn't.

She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, eyeing her armor. She was going to have to see about getting some rags or towels or something. She needed to be able to dry off and put her armor back on. Yes, sleeping in her armor was uncomfortable, but sleeping nude in a strange place wasn't going to cut it – she couldn't very well face an enemy buck-ass naked. Well, she could but she really didn't want to.

As she put her armor on, Shepard thought about the things she needed to do – scout the area, find a suitable clearing for a huge SOS sign, set some traps and snares to catch some food, find out if there was a village nearby to get some supplies... and she needed a way to pay for said supplies.

“Hey, Vestige, what time is it?” Shepard looked at her omni-tool in disbelief as she walked out of the sleeping quarters.. It told her it was well after noon but she never, ever slept that late. Not even after a night of drinking with Wrex and Grunt.

“The time is exactly 9:07 am,” the hologram replied.

“Strange,” she murmured as she pushed a few buttons to calibrate the time.

“Perhaps your device is incorrect because it cannot link to any satellites and make any necessary adjustments,” he offered helpfully.

“That could be. But why wouldn't I be able to link to anything...? Wait – does this planet have space travel yet?”

“They do not,” came the response. “As far as I am aware, the various cultures here still travel by horse and cart. There are no electronic devices to speak of.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow at that. “Well, at least that explains why the Reapers never bothered anyone here.”

She turned and started walking to the door. “I'm headed to the surface. I need to see about catching some food.”

“Before you leave, might I recommend that I patch into your device? Should you need any assistance, you can call me.”

“And how will you be able to help?” Shepard smirked, trying to picture the AI waving its arms threateningly at a bear.

“You are not familiar with the area. What if you were to become lost? I can also aid you in identifying plants that are safe for you to eat as well as those that can be used for bait.”

Vestige clasps his hands behind his back and gave Shepard a look that she would have sworn was rather smug.

“Ok. Good points.” She help her arm out and allowed the AI to upload part of its programming to her omni-tool. When he finished, she said, “Well, I'm off then, I guess.”

“I should note that the area immediately around the exit is clear. You should be safe.”

“Thanks, Vestige. I'll be back in a bit.”

“Very well. I shall remain here.”

Shepard shook her head as she climbed the ladder to the surface. When she slid the panel across, she carefully poked her head out to make sure everything was, indeed, clear. As she turned in a slow circle, she noticed 2 rather large sacks. She narrowed her eyes and paged Vestige.

“Your sensors still work, right?”

“That is correct, Commander.”

“Did you detect anyone snooping around last night?” Shepard knew those sacks hadn't been there when she had tried paging the Normandy. They had to have been dropped off after she'd gone to bed.

“Negative. Although there was some heavy electrical activity for 5.7 seconds that effectively blocked all sensors around the perimeter.”

“Electrical activity? Like lighting?”

“Negative. There were no storms in the area.”

“Then what caused it?”

“That is unknown. I have no record of ever experiencing phenomenon like that.” The voice paused for a moment and continued, “I may have a theory, though.”

Shepard pursed her lips and eyed the sack. She pulled herself completely out of the hatch and warily nudged the closest bag with the barrel of her rifle. That action caused the bag to tip over, spilling some of its contents – a few apples rolled out, followed by several potatoes and a few eggs. Her wariness quickly turned to shock. Who would have known to leave food there? No one knew she was there, unless she had been watched the night before. That certainly wasn't outside the realm of possibility.

“Vestige, do you have any way to scan the bags that are here? To make sure they're safe?”

Shepard didn't want to take any chances – sure, it was food that had rolled out, but what if there was an explosive or something buried in one of the bags? She had no reason to not trust the AI but that didn't mean he was being completely honest with her. Perhaps there were things on the planet that knew about the underground area and wanted to get inside. Or maybe there were batarians around. Or maybe some merc band or something.

“My sensors do not detect anything untoward in either sack, Commander.”

Frowning just a bit, Shepard used the barrel of her rifle again to try and get more things out of the closest sack. She made sure to nudge the bag away from the opening – if something went wrong, she wanted to be able to quickly slide down the ladder.

Instead of anything suspicious, Shepard saw more food – beets, celery, carrots, a bottle with what looked like salt, a package wrapped in butcher's paper that might be some kind of meat, several bottles of what was probably beer or mead. The other sack held a dress, more food, and a note that simply said.

_A gift_

It wasn't signed at all. Shepard glanced around, looking for tracks but all she saw were clues on the edge of the treeline that only animals had passed by in the night. Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, she gathered up the food and hurried back down the ladder.

Vestige was more than happy to test several samples before Shepard started eating. When he assured her that there was nothing wrong with the food and that it was perfectly safe to eat, she took a bite of apple and unwrapped the package and was happy to see a rather large piece of beef.

“I don't suppose there's any way for me to cook this, is there?” she asked.

“The kitchen appliances are all in working condition,” Vestige answered. “While it wasn't a priority, I made sure to keep them maintained in case anyone from the Empire arrived.”

Shepard quickly set to work cooking herself some food. It wasn't long before the aroma of pot roast had wafted through the entire area. As it cooked, Shepard munched on an apple and thought.

“If there was no storm, what kind of electrical activity would block your sensors? What's the theory you mentioned?” she asked.

“It is a lengthy explanation,” the AI answered.

“Well, I think we have time. Don't you?” Shepard leaned against the counter and waited for Vestige to continue.

“The short answer is mages.”

“Mages? Like magic mages?” Shepard had been around people who had never seen biotics before and likened her power to the mages of old earth video games. She herself knew that magic was simply slight of hand.

“Precisely.”

“But magic doesn't exist,” she retorted.

“It does here. And that is why the explanation is lengthy.”

Sighing, Shepard beckoned the AI to continue with his explanation. 

The AI clasped his hands behind his back and began pacing. “When the team arrived, they realized that everything about this planet was completely different from anything any of them had ever seen before. Energy readings, radiation readings, seismic activity, atmospheric conditions... all of it was different. They were able to construct this facility and get my programming running faster than they ever had in their training. At first, they stayed in the immediate area, setting dozens of sensors and cameras. The data I received to sort through was tremendous. After several weeks, they began traveling farther and farther from here.”

Vestige went on to explain how they eventually stumbled upon the planet's sentient beings. They were able to stay hidden and study the from a distance. None of the life forms gave off any kind of reading that was familiar and that was to be expected, to an extent, but the Protheans had conquered the known galaxy. To find something they had never seen before was shocking. And wondrous.

There were creatures who could produce fire, snow, and electricity from thin air. They could heal themselves, and others, with a quick wave of their hands. There were beings who could pass through solid objects with no apparent damage to either themselves or whatever they passed through. The scientists were elated and began working in 24-hour shifts in order to study everything that was being discovered.

As the AI spoke, Shepard listened with rapt interest. Everything he was talking about seemed to be the stuff of fairy tales but it had no reason to lie. “So what happened?” she asked. “Things looked pretty normal to me when I was outside.”

Vestige resumed pacing. “I do not know. When the last team member died, I programmed the beam to transmit once every year. I placed myself into a state of hibernation until a day or two prior so that I could make sure things were ready should anyone from the Empire arrive. After several decades, I changed the beam to discharge every hundred years, then every five hundred. I would gather the data that had accumulated, analyze, correlate, store it, then wait to see if anyone would arrive. Several thousand years ago, all of the data that had accumulated had changed. The radiation readings were different. The seismic activity had changed. Atmospheric conditions had changed. All of it... changed. The planet became more like others in the Empire. I spent years pouring over the new information, trying to figure out what had happened. My first theory was that the Reapers had arrived. When I disproved that, I wondered if a meteor or comet had struck the planet, but I could find no trace of anything to support that idea. The only data I had was what had accumulated from the various sensors the team had installed.”

He paused and glanced at Shepard. “You do not understand how frustrating it was to not have anyone to gather more useful information for me.”

“Is that a hint?” Shepard smirked.

“No,” Vestige shook his head. “I do not hint. I was going to directly ask you to take some time and see what you could bring back for me.”

“Of course,” Shepard nodded. “I'm curious about this change, as well.”

“I will share what I can,” he answered before continuing. “I delayed my hibernation for a little over a century. However, instead of waking only days before the beam's next discharge, I changed it so that I would awaken about a month prior. That would allow me to gather and study whatever other data I could and prepare it for the arrival of someone from the Empire.”

“And instead you got me,” Shepard grinned. She took a drink from the water skin that had been in the sack.

“So far, that has not proven to be a terrible thing,” the AI admitted. “I am thankful for the information you have been able to provide me thus far. In exchange, and especially if you are to travel and gather more information for me, I will share with you everything I am able to learn.

“With each scheduled discharge of the beam, I would prolong my hibernation, trying to figure out what had changed. I would discern talk of the Chantry, Andraste, and the Maker, of mages and Circles, of elven slaves and the Tevinter Imperium. Of blights and darkspawn. Truly, so much had changed in such a short amount of time that I quickly ran out of theories. Until I began to hear people discuss something called the Fade and the Veil. When I checked all of the data that had previously been collected, I realized that those two things didn't seem to have existed before. I formed the theory that the arrival of one caused the other, though I am not sure which came first or if that idea is even correct.”

The AI sighed and gave Shepard a sad smile. “I would truly love to travel to this Fade, if only to take some readings and see if my theory is correct.”

“Well, maybe I can help with that,” Shepard said. “I'm curious about this place, too. If it's as unique as you claim, I'll need as much information as I can gather to pass on to the Alliance and petition to have this planet protected from mining and colonization.”

“Agreed,” Vestige said, nodding.

“What else can you tell me?” Shepard asked.

Vestige then began to explain his limited knowledge about the Fade and the Veil and how the two had become linked to magic. “It seems as though if one is considered a mage, they are able to reach through the Veil and into the Fade and thus power their magic. It is also where one's spirit is believed to travel to upon death and where one goes during sleep to dream.”

“So, the Fade is like a parallel universe, then, that powers the magic on this side of the Veil? Because if that's true, anything living on the other side would have the potential to tap into this side and power their own version of magic, right?”

The AI frowned. “I suppose you could look at it in that manner,” he said slowly. “I do know that mages are feared here now. Before the appearance of the Fade, magic was thought of as commonplace. But there are creatures that live in the Fade and that allegedly want to live here. And one of the ways for them to do that is to possess a mage and turn them into an abomination.”

“And that's bad?”

“Yes. That is very bad. Death is the only solution that I am aware of. Again, the lack of having someone to actually interview people, find books on the subject, or even witness these events first-hand for me to study has been immensely frustrating.”

Shepard grabbed another apple and took a bite. “The afterlife thing I'm ok with. A lot of people have different beliefs about that and it's impossible to prove. But dreaming? I don't understand how that ties in with people dreaming. I thought dreams were a result of the subconscious mind working through problems, visiting past issues and memories, that kind of thing.” Shepard wondered if that was why she didn't dream – she had no connection to this Fade place. Thing. Whatever it was. “Does everyone have a connection to it?”

“Yes, though some have a stronger connection than others. Those with the stronger connections are the ones who can tap into it at will, drawing power from it and fueling their magic. There are, however, a race of creatures known as dwarves who apparently have no connection to the Fade at all. They have no mages and do not dream.”

“So tell me about these mages, then,” Shepard said as she hopped up to check on her roast.

Shepard listened with rapt interest as Vestige launched into a more detailed explanation of what he'd learned about mages and magic over the past several millenia. Magic was _real_ here. People could shoot fire from their fingertips or make it snow on a whim. They could heal people or hurt them terribly. Vestige told her about the Circles, how people feared magic and mages, and how the Templar order was tasked with protecting both the people from mages and mages from people.

Shepard frowned and began asking questions about the Templars, which turned into a lesson on the Chantry and Andrastian beliefs. For the next several hours, Shepard listened as Vestige gave her lesson after lesson about Thedas – Mages, Templars, Circles, Fereldan and Orlesian politics, Grey Wardens and blights. The AI didn't have a comprehensive database on everything but he was able to glean a lot of information from the sensors the Protheans had placed eons prior.

“You know,” Shepard said, “I still don't understand how these sensors could still be working for you to have all of this information. I mean, if you put them in trees, the trees might fall over during a storm or get chopped down to make buildings. They couldn't have been attached to animals because animals die. 50,000 years is a long time to keep something like that running. So, how did they do it?”

“Many of the sensors were buried. Thedas does not have a lot of tectonic activity so there was little concern about them being lost to earthquakes or volcanic activity. They did place some in trees and yes, those were all lost but not before providing invaluable data regarding animal activity. Some were disguised as rocks – some as small as pebbles, others a huge as boulders. Many of those still remain. Additionally, some of the people the science team encountered offered to help.” He paused and glanced at Shepard, who had dished up some of the pot roast and was eating like she was starving.

“They interacted with the people here? Is that what the bit about uplifting was about?”

Vestige pursed his lips and didn't answer. “I have said too much. That information is highly classified.”

Shepard narrowed her eyes. She wondered now if maybe the Protheans had helped teach the ancient beings here how to use the Fade to power their magic. She knew that most Protheans were biotics and that they had done something similar with the asari. It made her wonder if there were beacons around somewhere, buried deep underground like the ones that had been found on Eden Prime and Mars. Maybe that's how the sensors remained powered and usable; maybe beacons had been placed and linked the sensors to... back to Vestige? To some satellites that had since fallen back to the surface? She tucked those questions away at the back of her mind, knowing that Vestige wouldn't answer them for her right now.

“You could place new ones for me,” Vestige said slowly.

“I could what?”

“You could place new sensors for me. There is a village not too far from here called Lothering. You could travel there and place a few sensors around and allow me to monitor the activity there.”

Shepard thought for a few moments. She couldn't travel in her armor or take her weapons. She did have that clothing her mysterious benefactor left for her so that would help. Traveling to this village would also give her a chance to get a feel for the local people and gather information she could take back to the Alliance. If they truly were still in the Dark Ages, so to speak, as far as technology was concerned, they Alliance would want to take measure to safeguard them and make sure they didn't fall prey to slavers and pirates. She didn't like that she'd be traveling alone and relatively unarmed, though.

“You would have to make sure to keep your biotics a secret, though.” The sound of Vestige's voice interrupted her thoughts.

“What? Why?” Shepard asked incredulously. There was no way she was going to travel anywhere on this planet without armor, arms, or the use of her biotics.

“There is a very strong possibility that you will be viewed as a mage. And any mage not in the company of a Templar or who is not a member of the Grey Wardens is considered an apostate. You could be killed on sight.”

“Well, isn't that a pleasant thought,” she muttered. “How in the hell am I supposed to defend myself if I get attacked by someone or something?”

“That is not something I can solve for you,” Vestige responded. “I merely wanted to make you aware of a potential problem.”

“Well, thanks. I think.” It was then that Shepard realized she hadn't been outside in hours.

“Shit,” she exclaimed as she jumped to her feet from the cot she'd been sitting on. “I still needed to make my sign and make sure a shuttle had a good place to land.”

When she slid the hatch aside, she was relieved that the sun was still fairly high in the sky. She wasn't too worried about traps and snares now since someone was kind enough to share their food with her, but if a stray deer or something crossed her path, she wouldn't hesitate to drop it. She didn't know who had gifted her the food and she didn't want to think the favor would be repeated.

Shepard carefully made her way through the woods, making sure to pick out landmarks and terrain features so that she could easily find her way back. It had been years since she went through the survival portion of her N7 training but she'd tried using it as often as possible whenever she and Kaidan went camping. The difference between that and this, though, was that their camping trips still had them relatively close to modern facilities like hospitals and restaurants. If she ate the wrong plant or tripped and fell, it could very well kill her.

Vestige marked some waypoints on a map that showed where sensors had been placed. As Shepard came across any, she would make sure they were still transmitting. If it was broken, she gathered it up to take back and see if the AI could repair it. If it was a camera, she cleaned the lens. She had nothing to dig up the buried sensors for now, so those would have to stay as they were.

As she walked away from the clearing, she set many traps and snares, hoping to catch something for dinner. Vestige sent her information he had gathered on the various wildlife in the immediate area – bears, fennec foxes, wolves, and these things called nugs. She sat on a log, munching on an energy bar as she read about the prolific rodents. Vestige had no pictures, only descriptions – about the size of a small dog, hairless, ears like a rabbit, and instead of paws, they actually had tiny hands. Shepard wondered if the appendages were like a raccoons. Maybe she'd get lucky and catch one to find out.

The sun was starting to set when she decided it was time to head back. She'd managed to catch a couple of foxes, but nothing else. She also gathered up various plants for Vestige to study – it was helpful that he'd sent her a list and descriptions of those, as well. Elfroot, he said, was supposed to have excellent medicinal properties, as was deep mushroom. Blood lotus and deathroot, not so much. There were other plants he wanted her to gather, but they might not be found in the swampy areas around the clearing.

She took her kills into the cavern and set about cleaning them while Vestige busied himself with studying the samples Shepard had brought back. He had her deposit each piece into the same slot, instructing her to wait at least 10 seconds before sending the next sample. The system was designed to self-sanitize between samples to avoid cross-contamination. Shepard had visions of Mordin losing his mind about all of this. _Cross-contamination. No good. No good. Need new samples now. Shepard will have to get more on next mission._

Additionally, each sample was sent to it's own mini-chamber – a bank of several dozen of which were located in a self-contained unit next to the bank of monitors that Shepard had seen when she first arrived. As Vestige finished with each sample, it was incinerated.

She skinned and cooked the meat, carefully portioning out the remaining food from the sacks, and listened as Vestige would talk to himself, delighting in the discoveries he was making. Shepard couldn't help but smile as the VI spoke excitedly about looking forward to studying whatever it was she brought back, to finally having something to dissect and analyze. The damn thing almost reminded her of a little kid at Christmas.

The next several days went on like this – Shepard would wake up, calibrate the time on her omni-tool, and set about doing some PT as well as using her biotics to keep her skills sharp. She'd shower and use the dress to dry off. Then she'd put her armor on and travel no more than a mile away from the clearing, collecting samples for Vestige to study and gathering food for herself. Her armor was starting to look a little rough – she was able to clean it, but she had nothing to oil the joints with. She hadn't had to use her rifle or shotgun which was a good thing because while she had nearly a hundred rounds for each weapon, she had no way to replace it. 

She'd return to the cavern just before sunset and listen to Vestige share everything he was learning about the area as well. He share more information about things he'd only touched on earlier – Shepard received more detailed lessons about the Chantry, Templars, mages, and Circles, about blights, darkspawn and Grey Wardens, about the politics in the area and whatever history he could glean from travelers' conversations, about elves and their plight. His lessons weren't comprehensive and Vestige made sure to remind the commander regularly that there were gaps in his databases. Shepard was always amazed at how much information he had in the first place – that the Prothean equipment was still working and that it seemed able to transmit information over vast distances. Twice more in that week, her mysterious benefactor left more food and a couple more pieces of clothing. And before she would turn in, she would sit on the edge of the exit shaft, her legs dangling over the edge, and she would watch the night sky, looking for signs of her ship – any ship – while still trying to use her comms to reach out to anyone who might be in listening range.

Kaidan was never far from her thoughts. She would find herself wishing he was there with her – the two of them exploring and charting this new world together, wondering what it would be like to be known for these discoveries instead of being the savior of the galaxy. Vestige constantly tried to dissuade her from getting her hopes up. One night, she snapped at him, demanding to know why he was so certain she wouldn't be saved.

“Because there has been no contact with anyone on this planet. As far as I know, the Prothean team is the only space-faring group to set foot on this planet. You still can't communicate with anyone – something that I believe has something to do with this planet although I cannot prove what.”

“So I can't talk to anyone. That doesn't mean that they won't find me. My armor has a bio-tracker in it. They can find me with that once the Normandy or another Alliance vessel is in range,” she fired back.

“Commander,” Vestige sighed, “I am 97.6% certain your ship and its crew were destroyed.”

“What? How? Why?” Shepard looked at the AI, confused and angry. She'd spent all of this time listening to him tell her that her attempts at contacting her crew – or anyone else, for that matter – would end in failure but he'd never explained why.

“The light that filled your ship, the beam that brought you here, was all designed to make sure that the Reapers couldn't trace the signal and follow anyone who arrived. The beam put out an EMP that had a virus embedded in it, specifically designed to target any artificial intelligence. Additionally, the EMP was set to destroy any ship's primary functions, including life support. This was to prevent any indoctrinated personnel from returning to Reaper-contolled space and allowing them access to the planet. This beam was tested extensively and never failed. The odds of your ship and crew having survived are almost non-existent.”

“No,” Shepard said forcefully. “I refuse to believe that. I can't believe it. I can't. You don't know EDI. You don't know my crew. If that beam didn't destroy my ship outright by blowing it from the sky, then I have to believe that they were able to fix whatever systems were damaged. I have to believe they are still out there, somewhere, looking for me.”

Vesitge cocked his head and studied her as she angrily finished skinning a wolf. “Interesting,” he observed. “I do not understand why you would choose to continue to believe something that has such a small probability of being true.”

“Because they're my friends, Vestige. We have been through too much together for me to just accept what you're saying without some kind of proof. I need to see wreckage. Bodies. Something. I'm sorry, but I can't just accept your 97% chance that they died. That means there is a 3% possibility that they're alive. And that's what I am going to hold on to.”

The AI simply nodded and watched as Shepard stretched the skin over a make-shift tanning rack. She wiped at her cheeks with the back of her hand and said, “I'm going to shower and turn in.” Again, the AI nodded and watched her walk away, curious about her reactions to the news of his belief about the fate of her ship and crew but knowing that any further questions would anger her more and not get him the answers he craved.

Shepard didn't know how long she stood under the hot water. She thought about every single person who had been on the ship when she was taken – the people she was closest to and the ones she only knew in a professional capacity. Vestige was still learning emotions – what they were and how to handle them – so she couldn't expect him to understand her reluctance to think of the people she loved as being dead. And it wasn't just the fact that they might be dead, either – if they were dead, that meant that no one would come for her. She would be trapped on this planet, forced to live out her days in some strange place while the rest of the galaxy mourned her. Again.

“This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I would say that I wouldn't mind being anonymous again,” she muttered to herself.

She hadn't been alone in a very long time, either. Not since she joined the Alliance, anyway. Shepard was always quick to make friends and surrounded herself with people who made her happy. She had gotten used to having a few of her crew tag along on missions to watch her back. And life on board a space ship meant that the people you flew with were always around and quickly became a second family.

Shepard leaned her forehead against the wall and finally allowed herself to think of Kaidan. _He probably thinks I hate him,_ she thought. _It was stupid... I shouldn't have offered him the tags and the ring back. I should have asked him to talk to me about it, first. God knows this isn't what I wanted. Maybe we could have reached a compromise or something..._ She sniffled as her tears mingled with the water from the shower, finally closing the tap and drying herself off.

Shepard curled up on the mattress, clothed in one of the other dresses she'd been gifted, wrapped Kaidan's gift tags and ring around her fingers, thinking she had to find a way to contact the Alliance, not only to let them know where she was and that she was ok, but to find out what happened to her ship and crew. She would not give up hope that they were still alive and still looking for her, no matter what Vestige said.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

About another week went by – morning PT and biotics training, trapping, gathering samples for Vestige, followed by dreamless sleeping – when Shepard decided to check out a part of the forest she hadn't been to yet. She'd been walking for several hours when she paused for a drink. An odd sound caught her attention and she strained to hear it better. It sounded like metal clanging on metal. She drew her rifle and carefully followed the sound. As she got closer, it became obvious that she was hearing some kind of battle – swords crashing together, grunts and shouts – and she picked up her pace. As the sounds grew louder, she raised her rifle and threw up a barrier.

She paused for just a moment when she broke upon the fight – at least a half dozen grotesquely shaped creatures were circled around one man. Remembering what Vestige had told her of darkspawn, Shepard quickly realized that that was what she was looking at. And Vestige's description didn't even come close to touching on how horrifying they actually looked. The man was wielding a sword and shield and was wearing armor that reminded Shepard of what the knights might have worn in the fantasy novels she read when she was in school His skin had a tanned complexion, as if he spent his days in the sun, his jet-black hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and a full beard covered the lower half of his face. His shield was raised, his sword pointing toward the creatures surrounding him, and he spun slowly in a circle, seemingly waiting for one of the things to attack him.

Shepard didn't wait a second longer. She charged into the nearest one and immediately followed up with a nova, knocking everyone back, including the man. She then used her biotics to push the nearest group back as she extended her other hand to the man, helping him up.

“Sorry 'bout that,” she said as she began to fire upon the darkspawn. Her superior firepower made very quick work of the creatures and when the last one fell, she turned to the man, who had his sword pointed at her throat.

“That is no sword in your hand,” he stated. He didn't sound angry or even scared.

Shepard put her hands in the air but kept a grip on her weapon. “Because it isn't a sword,” she replied. “It's a common weapon where I'm from.”

The man narrowed his eyes. “And your magic? Do the Templars know that you have left the Circle?”

Shepard swore under her breath. This was exactly what Vestige had warned her about. Using her biotics was a natural part of her battle rhythm, though. They were something she trained to use and she couldn't just shut them off on a whim.

“I'm not a mage,” she replied. “I've never been to a Circle and I've never even met a Templar. I'm not from around here.”

The man raised his eyebrow and his lip twitched. It looked to Shepard like he was smirking. “Your accent _is_ strange. I have traveled many places and have never heard anyone speak as you do.”

“I doubt that you would be able to travel to where I'm from. It's... well, it's pretty far away.”

“I believe you. I have a feeling, though, that if you were to come across a group of Templars, they would not be as easily convinced as I.”

It was then that Shepard realized they could understand each other. Sure, she wasn't surprised she could understand him, thanks to the translator embedded in her ear. But for this man to understand her... that was unexpected. She wondered briefly why Vestige didn't mention that tidbit to her during their conversations.

The man stared at her for a few moments before finally lowering his sword. “I am Duncan,” he said, extending a hand.

Shepard replaced her rifle to her back and accepted the handshake. “Shepard.”

Duncan gave her a confused look. “You're a sheepherder? How odd that you're trained so well to fight darkspawn.”

Shepard couldn't help but laugh. “No, I don't tend livestock. S-H-E-P-A-R-D. Shepard. It's my name. I'm a soldier.”

“Ah,” was all the man said.

They each surveyed the area. Shepard was surprised to see another half dozen bodies scattered around the area. This Duncan certainly had held his own, going against at least a dozen of these things with just a sword and shield. But then, if that's the kind of weapon normally used here, it would make sense that he trained with it and would be on the proficient side.

“So, these are darkspawn,” she muttered as she kicked one. “Ugly ass motherfuckers, aren't they?” She bent over and wondered if Vestige might like a sample of their flesh or something to study. She was willing to bet that these things didn't make an appearance until after the Prothean scientists had died. She pulled her knife from her belt, sliced the ear off of one, and wrapped it in some leaves before carefully placing it in one of the pouches on her belt.

“Souvenir?” Duncan asked. There was the slightest hint of disgust in his voice.

“You could say that,” Shepard said as she stood. “More like something to study later.”

The man grunted in response and wiped his blade. “I should thank you for your help although it was unnecessary for you to put yourself at such risk. I have gone up against greater numbers on my own in the past.”

“Well, then, next time I'll just stand off to the side and simply offer words of encouragement.” Shepard smiled at him to let him know she was joking. Duncan's lips turned up slightly and he shook his head.

He sheathed his sword and affixed his shield to his back. “You aren't Fereldan. Or Orlesian. That armor...” Duncan's voice trailed off as he stroked his beard and gave Shepard a hard stare.

Shepard returned the man's gaze, her lips turning up in just the slightest hint of a smile. “Correct on both counts. And my armor is custom.” It wasn't a lie – she'd worked with both the Serrice Council and Rosenkov Materials to put together a suit that would complement and enhance her biotics, allowing her to use them, along with her impressive weapons skill, to be a rather formidable force on the battlefield.

Duncan smiled, a warm, friendly one that crinkled the corners of his eyes instead of the cooler, appraising half smile she'd seen earlier. “Might I ask where you are camping?”

When Shepard hesitated, he quickly added, “I am familiar with these woods and have seen no sign of a campsite. Plus the darkspawn are becoming more numerous around here.”

“I happened to stumble on a cave of sorts,” she said slowly. She didn't want to outright lie to the man even though she really couldn't tell him about Vestige or the underground bunker. “Luckily for me, there were no bears or spiders in it, so I moved in.”

Duncan crossed his arms over his chest. “A cave, you say?” He regarded her for another moment before briefly nodding his head. “Very well.”

He turned and began walking away from the remains of the battle. Shepard's mind worked quickly – she knew she should stay put in case an Alliance ship picked up on her distress call, but she really should check out the local people and try to establish some kind of relationship with them. If they were truly as technologically inferior as Vestige had said they were in comparison to most of the rest of the galaxy, there was quite a bit that could probably be learned from them. The downside to that was they would be ripe for raids by pirates and slavers. If they were still in Alliance territory, they'd at least have that protection, and she could make sure that nothing happened that would interfere with the natural progression of things.

Deciding that reaching out and learning what she could was a bigger priority than staying and waiting for rescue, Shepard called after the retreating figure.

Duncan turned and waited while she caught up to him. “Could you use some company? I should probably see about getting some different gear. I may be here for a while.”

Duncan cocked his head to the side and considered her request. After a few moments, he gave a curt nod. “Yes. That's fine. You may come along with me, if you like. Do you have anything you need to do before we leave?”

“Actually, yes. Would you mind waiting here for a little bit? I'll need about an hour or so.”

Duncan nodded and sat cross-legged on the ground. He placed his sword across his lap rested his arms on his legs and closed his eyes, giving Shepard the impression he was meditating.

Shepard turned and sprinted back to the hatch. She skidded to a halt about ten feet from the sliding door and glanced around. She didn't think Duncan would have followed her but she found it odd that he didn't ask to walk with her. She put her finger to her ear, triggering the comms in her omni-tool. “Vestige,” she asked quietly. “Can you tell if I'm alone? Is there someone hiding in the treeline somewhere?”

“My sensors do not detect any bipedal life form other than your own,” came the clipped reply.

Shepard chuckled and shook her head at the way Vestige worded his answer. “Bipedal.” Which meant there were probably animals close by. _Good. I'll check my traps on the way back to Duncan._ She knew she had no local currency and she might be able to sell or trade any furs she could get her hands on. Satisfied that she was, indeed, alone, and that the bunker would remain a secret, she quickly slid the hatch aside and slid down the ladder.

Vestige's projected image was waiting for her at the bottom. “Judging from your rapid breathing and heart rate, I would say that you had an interesting hunt.”

“You could say that. I've got something different for you to study.” Shepard pulled the plants and the wrapped ear from her pouch and held them out.

“I thought you said something different,” he quipped. “That simply appears to be more flora.

“No, no, not just plants. Look.” Shepard impatiently pulled the leaves off the appendage and showed him the ear. “I took it from a darkspawn.”

The AI burst into a grin. “Excellent!”

Shepard deposited the ear into the designated slot and grinned when Vestige broke into excited babble. Her smile grew wider as she listened to him comment about DNA mutations and possible links to the different species currently found on the planet. She shook her head and went to the sleeping quarters to grab the dress that had been in one of the sacks left earlier. She carefully folded and rolled it into as small an item as she could and stuffed it into the largest pouch she had on her belt. It didn't fit well but it was better than carrying it in her arms. 

“Vestige, I'm headed back out. I'm not sure when I'll be back.” Shepard called over her shoulder as she walked back to the ladder.

Vestige immediately stopped what he was doing and hurried after her. “Where are you going?” he demanded.

“I came across a man who had been fighting a rather large group of darkspawn. I helped him and thought it might be a good idea if I tagged along with him for a while. My ammo won't last forever and if I ever need to go to that village, I'll need different clothes or armor or something to blend in better.”

Vestige crossed his arms and tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Yes. That does sound like a good idea. While you're out, you can place additional sensors for me as well as gather more samples. However, if you run into any trouble, I will not be able to assist you.”

“Right,” Shepard said with just a bit of sarcasm in her voice. “Thanks for the reminder. Listen, I need a favor from you. Please.”

“What favor would that be, Commander?” he asked.

“I've got a distress signal playing from my omni-tool. If someone comes looking for me, would you please let me know immediately? I can't imagine they'd come here, though, because my biotracker is in my armor, but in the off chance they show up...”

“Commander, the odds of that happening are...”

“Vestige,” Shepard held her hand up to silence the AI. “I know what you think the odds are and I've told you repeatedly that I refuse to believe my friends are dead and my ship has been destroyed. Just, please, if someone is looking for me, keep them here and let me know right away.”

She turned on her heel and quickly climbed the ladder. She knew from working with EDI that it was only natural for Vestige to point out the obvious. There were so many things that might have affected the Prothean team's communications. What if it was heavy solar activity? What if the Reapers had been jamming their signals? It was possible that this planet was simply located outside of EDI's scanner range, which could also be why comms weren't working. Not to mention that the technology they had today, while based on what the Protheans had, was still different. And she knew that EDI was designed to withstand a lot in the way of radiation and computer viruses.

Shepard shook her head as she checked the first of her traps. She couldn't mentally accept that she was truly stranded. For all outward appearances, though, she knew that it would be best if she actually prepared herself as though she were. And that meant sticking to her plan of getting to the village and learning as much as she could to pass on to the Alliance when she was finally picked up.

Her next set of traps had some rabbit-type things in them. She examined them and noticed the hands, remembering Vestige's description of hairless rodents. _Nugs, if I remember what Vestige told me._ she thought. She didn't know if they'd be worth anything or not. She poked at their hide, realizing that it would actually make some decent leather. Well, decent for back home, anyway. For all Shepard knew, nug hide might be utterly worthless here. Especially if they were as prolific as Vestige claimed they were.

Shepard continued making her way back to where she'd left Duncan, checking her traps and snares long the way. She picked up a few more nugs and several foxes. One of the last traps she'd set actually netted her a wolf. If nothing else, she and Duncan would have plenty of meat to eat while they traveled. The nugs and foxes didn't need cleaned right away, but she couldn't drag the wolf. She quickly field dressed it and tried to figure out what to do next.

If she could get Duncan to take her to Lothering, she'd see about getting a backpack or something since her utility belt would be all but useless. And she would definitely have to learn how to use whatever weapons were commonplace around here. Shepard liked the idea of the sword and shield like Duncan used but she would be willing to learn whatever would work best with her biotics.

Ah, yes. The biotics. If Duncan's reaction was any indication, she would have to be really careful when using them. At least Duncan had seen her use them so if they got into any trouble again and she needed to fight, it wouldn't come as a surprise to him. And hopefully, if they came across any of these Templars, he would have her back in explaining that she didn't belong in one of those Circle places Vestige had told her about. Hopefully, if she had to fight alongside anyone new, she'd get a chance to explain her abilities before having to demonstrate them.

Shepard found Duncan in the same position she'd left him in – sitting cross-legged and apparently meditating. She tried approaching quietly, not wanting to disturb his reverie. When she got about 10 feet away from him, he opened his eyes.

“You're quieter than I thought you might be with that stuff you're wearing,” he said. His eyes roamed to her sides, taking in the animals she'd caught. “You may not be from around here but it's obvious that you've had some experience with surviving outdoors.”

Shepard smiled and held up her prizes. “3 nugs, 4 foxes, and a wolf. I don't know how valuable they are, though. Would the pelts and hides be worth anything in Lothering?”

Duncan didn't answer right away; his hesitation made Shepard a little nervous that she'd be unable to buy the things she might need. “It's why I didn't skin them or anything yet. I didn't want to damage something that I might be able to barter with in town.”

Duncan gave her a smile. “Nugs are very common. The hide can be used for leather but you won't get much for it because they're all over the place. You might actually make more coin by talking to the local farmers and offering to get rid of them. The foxes, though... those will fetch a fair price. As will the wolf pelt.” He reached his hand out and Shepard handed him the fox carcasses. He pulled a dagger from his belt and began skinning the animals. Shepard sat across from him and set to work on the nugs.

They worked in silence for a while, finally teaming up to take care of the wolf hide. “There is a stream not too far from here. We can rinse the hides there.”

“How far are we from the village? I have little experience with tanning hides and I don't want them to rot or anything.”

“About a day. I have a friend who lives much closer, though. We can stay with her at least long enough to get these cleaned up. She can help us get them salted and ready to sell. Who knows – she might even pay you for some of the meat, too.”

The trip to the stream was uneventful although several times, Duncan held his hand up for Shepard to stop. He would then close his eyes and cock his head as though he were listening for something. Once they got to the water, Shepard asked, “What were you listening for earlier?”

“Darkspawn.”

“What, like their footfalls or something?”

“No. I'm a Grey Warden. I can feel when they're close by. The downside is they can feel me, too.”

Shepard frowned and tried to remember what Vestige had told her about Grey Wardens. “Grey Warden. I'm sorry, I can't say I know too much about your order.” She brushed her hand over her wrist, turning on her omni-tool so it would record the conversation. _Something else for Vestige to learn from_ she thought. “I mean, I know you fight darkspawn and stop blights. That's about it.”

“Sadly, that's about all that anyone knows,” Duncan admitted. He rolled up the fox pelts to wring them out and Shepard did the same with the wolf one. “It has been several centuries since the last blight. Long enough for people to believe we are no longer relevant.”

Shepard nodded in understanding. If an enemy disappears out of known memory, that enemy becomes nothing more than a rumor. It was exactly what had happened with the Reapers. “I know exactly how that feels.”

Duncan fixed a curious gaze on her. After a few moments, he said, “Somehow, I believe you truly do.”

Shepard stood and stretched, wincing as some of the bones in her back popped. She realized that fighting those darkspawn was the first time she'd been in an honest-to-God fight since she was put back on active duty. She twisted from side to side, popping a few more vertebrae back into place. There was still one she could feel – it was right in the middle of her back. The one that usually gave her trouble; the one that Kaidan would always somehow manage to pop back into place for her. The realization makes her chest hurt a little.

The look on her face must have changed because Duncan looked at her with some concern. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Shepard answered quietly. “It's just that when my back pops like that, there's usually a spot that I can't quite get and my boyfr... I mean, a friend of mine used to always fix it for me.”

“I see,” Duncan said slowly. A knowing look crossed his face. “If you find that it bothers you, perhaps I might be able to help you out.”

“I'll keep that in mind.” Shepard honestly didn't know if her back would start to bother her. Usually as soon as she did what she could, Kaidan took care of what she couldn't. Her back was never out of sync enough for it to be a problem. “So, where to? Are we off to see this friend of yours or are we heading into Lothering?”

“We'll visit my friend, first. As I said, she can help us get these skins ready to sell.”

“And how far away is she?”

“Only a few hours,” Duncan replied. “We'll be there long before nightfall. We will have to stay over, though.”

“And your friend won't mind? I wouldn't want to impose.” Shepard knew she wouldn't make it back to the bunker before dark and she also knew that if she tried to get there once the sun set she'd get lost. Not to mention she had no desire to run into any darkspawn while she was alone.

Duncan chuckled. “No, she won't mind at all. Actually, I believe the two of you are going to get along just fine.”

\- - - - - - - - - - -

As they traveled through the woods, Duncan occasionally stopped and held up his hand, listening like he had done when they walked to the stream. Usually, they just waited. A couple of times, he hurried them along another path. For the most part, though, the journey was quiet. Shepard had asked Duncan a few questions about the Grey Wardens. Duncan, for his part, was more than willing to talk about what he knew. Except for one thing.

“So, how does one become a Grey Warden?” Shepard has asked.

“When one is recruited, they must go through the Joining.”

“And what is that.”

Without hesitation, Duncan said, “I cannot say. It is a secret ritual dating back to the first Wardens.”

“So, no hint or anything?” Shepard understood the need for secrecy but her curiosity was piqued.

“I am sorry. You are not the first person who wants to know more about it. I am, however, bound by my oath as a Warden. The Joining is not something I can speak of with someone who isn't part of the Order. Not even initiates know what it is.”

That last part really got to her. People agree to join an organization and they don't know anything about the thing they need to do to get in. Shepard shook her head. “So, what... you just wander around, pointing to people, and saying, 'Hey! You want to be a Grey Warden?'”

Duncan laughed at that. “Actually, that isn't too far from the truth. There aren't many Wardens in Ferelden. Our order was banned for quite some time. King Maric allowed us to return only a few decades ago. I have spent that time trying to fill our ranks.”

“Fill them with who?”

Duncan shrugs. “It depends. If someone were to come to me and ask me if they could join, I might agree. I have developed a good sense of what people are well-suited for this. It is not an easy life.”

“Hm,” she said. She was good at reading people and her combat experience taught her to trust her gut – an instinct that saved her more than once. She certainly wasn't going to doubt Duncan when it came to his judgment on recruiting Wardens.

“We accept all kinds,” he continued. “I was a thief. And a murderer.”

“I”m sure you had your reasons,” Shepard said slowly. She didn't know why Duncan chose to share that with her. Maybe it was his way of letting her know he trusted her. Maybe it was his way of trying to get her to share a little bit about herself. She decided to just wait and see what else he said.

Duncan just shrugged and said no more. She didn't push the issue, wondering if maybe he thought he'd shared too much.

“At any rate, now you're in charge of the Wardens here. Sometimes giving someone a second chance can be rather beneficial.”

Duncan nodded. “Yes. It can. We all make decisions that we regret later in life. I'm fortunate in that I've been able to try to make up for mine. Not everyone is so lucky.”

Just then, they walked into a clearing. There was a lake on one side and a small hut on the other. The hut reminded Shepard of a bi-level home on earth – the right side was 2 levels and the connected left side had been built on stilts over the water. There is a small fire going with a steaming kettle hanging over it. And it was quiet – Shepard noticed immediately that the sounds of the forest that had accompanied them here had stopped.

“Wait here,” Duncan said as he disappeared into the hut. Shepard looked around, wondering about the kind of person, or people, who lived here. It reminded her a lot of the way some of the people had to live for a while after the Reaper war – no electricity, no running water, no heat save for whatever bonfires people could keep stoked and burning. This was exactly what she and Kaidan did when they went camping. She actually kind of liked it, too – it was a nice change of pace from the hustle and bustle of crowded cities and technology. She wandered to the kettle and inhaled. Whatever it was smelled really good. Shepard tentatively took the wooden spoon and gave it a stir.

“You should be thankful that didn't blow up, child.”

She spun around at the sound of the old, wizened voice behind her. “I'm sorry. I just... it smells really good. You're right, though. I know some recipes shouldn't be stirred at all.” Shepard gave a slight bow of her head. “My apologies if I offended.”

“Ah, manners. Such a rare thing in these parts. It is nice to see Duncan has actually befriended someone who doesn't appear to be a ruffian.” An old woman stood before Shepard, older than anyone she'd ever laid eyes on. Her short, grey hair fell only to her shoulders and she wore a simple dress. Her amber eyes, though, seemed to see right through her. “He told me he brought a guest but failed to mention your name.”

Shepard extended her hand. “Shepard. Commander Shepard.”

The old woman gave the offered hand a cool glance before saying, “Commander is quite a strange name. Almost as strange as the clothes on your back.” She finally accepted the handshake. Shepard was shocked to feel how strong the woman's grip was. Her skin was cool and surprisingly smooth – not something you'd expect from someone who apparently had to do a considerable amount of manual labor just to survive.

Shepard just chuckled. “It's my rank, actually. I'm a soldier. My name is Shepard.”

The old woman just nodded as she shook Shepard's hand. “And you may call me Flemeth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the 'change' on Thedas take place several thousand years prior because the canon timeline doesn't work if Solas was truly only asleep for a thousand years. For the purposes of this story, he will have been asleep for longer than he thought he was and that will be addressed later.


End file.
